Thursday, January 18, 2007
Guilty Pleasures
I’m slightly embarrassed to admit it, but I’m an American Idol fan. The only thing that tempers my embarrassment is that I stop watching the show after the initial tryouts. But to me, there is no funnier show on TV than the first few episodes of American Idol.
I’m a big fan of music. Which is ironic because I have little musical talent of my own. I used to be able to play the saxophone. And if pressured, I think I can play the first few bars of Van Halen’s “Jump” on the piano. But it doesn’t matter that I have little musical talent. The first episodes of American Idol are almost designed to make those of us with little musical talent feel better about ourselves because 90% of the people on the show have literally no musical talent. In fact, I think some of them actually register negative numbers on the Musical Talent Scale. (And that’s to say nothing of how’d they measure on the Personality or Sociability Scale.)
One of the things that annoyed me about last night’s show (which was in Seattle) was that they kicked the whole thing off by playing Jimi Hendrix’s “Voodoo Chile,” which is one of the best rock and roll songs of all time. Not only is it a great song, but it has the very best guitar playing of any song ever. I will accept no arguments to the contrary. My point? American Idol has absolutely nothing to do with rock and roll. Putting a Jimi Hendrix song (let alone a great one such a “Voodoo Chile”) on before listening to these losers attempt to sing is like playing a clip from Pulp Fiction before a SpongeBob movie.
(Another thing that annoys me is Ryan Seacrest, but I don’t feel like discussing that twit right now.)
What I love about the tryout episodes is that the contestants are bad. Really, really bad. And some of them might be legitimately insane. Over the years, it seems like the producers have made more of an effort to show these losers. (Did you notice that at the end of the show, they say, “Oh, and here are a bunch of people going to Hollywood”?) Personally, I’m glad they are. Watching someone sing a Christina Aguilera song decently is not entertaining. Watching someone butcher a Queen or Journey song? Hi-larious.
At some point last night though, I started feeling bad for these contestants. Not because they’re singing badly on national TV, but because they have no clue just how bad they’re singing. They had one guy on whose last name was something like Zitman. Yep. He was downright creepy. Like cross-the-street-if-you-see-him-walking-towards-you creepy. And he said that his co-workers encouraged him to audition. This poor guy gets humiliated on national TV all because his co-workers told him he was good enough to audition. They played a cruel, sadistic joke for their own amusement and that both saddens and angers me. I mean, why couldn’t I think of it first?
Honestly, I know a fair share of weird people. And I’m not even talking about relatives. Why didn’t I start dropping hints about how great a show American Idol is and how great a singer they are? And hey, wouldn’t they be great on American Idol? They’d certainly have my vote! Hee!
There was another character on the show who I can only describe as Lemur-Boy. You’ve probably seen him in the commercials if you happened to miss the show. If you know what a lemur is, you’ll know exactly who I’m talking about. At one point while he was singing, he put his hand to his head and did a horrible, frightening dance, causing Paula to literally spin around in her chair to avoid laughing in his face. When they mentioned that dance move to him, he revealed that he did it while karaoking and his friends encouraged him to continue doing it. I was a little upset that I don’t have a friend like Lemur-Boy to pull a joke like this on. But I was quite pleased to know that there are people out there like me who relish in mocking other people. Now, if only I can figure out a way to do it on national TV.
I’m a big fan of music. Which is ironic because I have little musical talent of my own. I used to be able to play the saxophone. And if pressured, I think I can play the first few bars of Van Halen’s “Jump” on the piano. But it doesn’t matter that I have little musical talent. The first episodes of American Idol are almost designed to make those of us with little musical talent feel better about ourselves because 90% of the people on the show have literally no musical talent. In fact, I think some of them actually register negative numbers on the Musical Talent Scale. (And that’s to say nothing of how’d they measure on the Personality or Sociability Scale.)
One of the things that annoyed me about last night’s show (which was in Seattle) was that they kicked the whole thing off by playing Jimi Hendrix’s “Voodoo Chile,” which is one of the best rock and roll songs of all time. Not only is it a great song, but it has the very best guitar playing of any song ever. I will accept no arguments to the contrary. My point? American Idol has absolutely nothing to do with rock and roll. Putting a Jimi Hendrix song (let alone a great one such a “Voodoo Chile”) on before listening to these losers attempt to sing is like playing a clip from Pulp Fiction before a SpongeBob movie.
(Another thing that annoys me is Ryan Seacrest, but I don’t feel like discussing that twit right now.)
What I love about the tryout episodes is that the contestants are bad. Really, really bad. And some of them might be legitimately insane. Over the years, it seems like the producers have made more of an effort to show these losers. (Did you notice that at the end of the show, they say, “Oh, and here are a bunch of people going to Hollywood”?) Personally, I’m glad they are. Watching someone sing a Christina Aguilera song decently is not entertaining. Watching someone butcher a Queen or Journey song? Hi-larious.
At some point last night though, I started feeling bad for these contestants. Not because they’re singing badly on national TV, but because they have no clue just how bad they’re singing. They had one guy on whose last name was something like Zitman. Yep. He was downright creepy. Like cross-the-street-if-you-see-him-walking-towards-you creepy. And he said that his co-workers encouraged him to audition. This poor guy gets humiliated on national TV all because his co-workers told him he was good enough to audition. They played a cruel, sadistic joke for their own amusement and that both saddens and angers me. I mean, why couldn’t I think of it first?
Honestly, I know a fair share of weird people. And I’m not even talking about relatives. Why didn’t I start dropping hints about how great a show American Idol is and how great a singer they are? And hey, wouldn’t they be great on American Idol? They’d certainly have my vote! Hee!
There was another character on the show who I can only describe as Lemur-Boy. You’ve probably seen him in the commercials if you happened to miss the show. If you know what a lemur is, you’ll know exactly who I’m talking about. At one point while he was singing, he put his hand to his head and did a horrible, frightening dance, causing Paula to literally spin around in her chair to avoid laughing in his face. When they mentioned that dance move to him, he revealed that he did it while karaoking and his friends encouraged him to continue doing it. I was a little upset that I don’t have a friend like Lemur-Boy to pull a joke like this on. But I was quite pleased to know that there are people out there like me who relish in mocking other people. Now, if only I can figure out a way to do it on national TV.
Mixed Messages
As you may know, I’ve been training for a triathlon in August. My intermediate goal is to get down in the 180’s by March. Well, March is but six weeks away and I’m not getting any closer to that goal than I was a month ago.
My regimen has basically been to do some weightlifting in the morning and then do cardio at night. That’s probably not the smartest regimen when it comes to losing weight. The problem is that I’m losing fat but gaining muscle. (I have to work hard to convince The Wife that yes, in fact, I am gaining muscle. It’s just hidden under a lot of fat.) And since muscle weighs more than fat, adding a little muscle more than offsets losing a little fat.
After a month or so of working out, my weight has dropped about 5 pounds to 195. It’ll go up or down by a pound or two, but that’s generally where it hovers. That’s not exactly a great motivator to get out of bed at 5:00 every morning to go to the gym. On the other hand, my pants are all getting a little looser, and that is great a motivator. (Of course, I can’t completely dismiss the possibility that The Wife is playing a practical joke and letting out all the waists of my pants. Given her sewing skills, I’m about 99% sure she’s not doing it. But she is a prankster, so you never know.)
Today I’m wearing my “fat” pants, which I bought a few months ago when I realized that trying to fit into 34’s just wasn’t going to work. And now? The 36’s are a bit too baggy. And my 34’s have gone from “shouldn’t be worn in public” status to “fitting appropriately” status. And I’m embarrassed to say that I’m proud of that.
I guess my training is working. I’m getting in better shape, even if the scale (and The Wife) doesn’t agree. So then the plan now is to focus more on cardio and less on weights so that I can get a little more satisfaction out of the scale every morning. And that presents a bit of a problem.
The biggest problem with this new approach is that it’s the New Year. This is the time of year that everyone regrets eating cookies over the holidays. So they make New Year’s resolutions to work out every morning. They go to the gym and hog up all the cardio equipment (no pun intended). Since I was lifting weights, this didn’t bother me at all. But if I start doing cardio in the morning too, then I’ve got a problem on my hands.
Fortunately, the problem won’t last long. Things should start dying down by the end of the month when people realize that they’d rather be fat and happy than thin and tired. That’s not a knock. I feel the same way. I just don’t want to have to buy a whole new set of fat pants.
My regimen has basically been to do some weightlifting in the morning and then do cardio at night. That’s probably not the smartest regimen when it comes to losing weight. The problem is that I’m losing fat but gaining muscle. (I have to work hard to convince The Wife that yes, in fact, I am gaining muscle. It’s just hidden under a lot of fat.) And since muscle weighs more than fat, adding a little muscle more than offsets losing a little fat.
After a month or so of working out, my weight has dropped about 5 pounds to 195. It’ll go up or down by a pound or two, but that’s generally where it hovers. That’s not exactly a great motivator to get out of bed at 5:00 every morning to go to the gym. On the other hand, my pants are all getting a little looser, and that is great a motivator. (Of course, I can’t completely dismiss the possibility that The Wife is playing a practical joke and letting out all the waists of my pants. Given her sewing skills, I’m about 99% sure she’s not doing it. But she is a prankster, so you never know.)
Today I’m wearing my “fat” pants, which I bought a few months ago when I realized that trying to fit into 34’s just wasn’t going to work. And now? The 36’s are a bit too baggy. And my 34’s have gone from “shouldn’t be worn in public” status to “fitting appropriately” status. And I’m embarrassed to say that I’m proud of that.
I guess my training is working. I’m getting in better shape, even if the scale (and The Wife) doesn’t agree. So then the plan now is to focus more on cardio and less on weights so that I can get a little more satisfaction out of the scale every morning. And that presents a bit of a problem.
The biggest problem with this new approach is that it’s the New Year. This is the time of year that everyone regrets eating cookies over the holidays. So they make New Year’s resolutions to work out every morning. They go to the gym and hog up all the cardio equipment (no pun intended). Since I was lifting weights, this didn’t bother me at all. But if I start doing cardio in the morning too, then I’ve got a problem on my hands.
Fortunately, the problem won’t last long. Things should start dying down by the end of the month when people realize that they’d rather be fat and happy than thin and tired. That’s not a knock. I feel the same way. I just don’t want to have to buy a whole new set of fat pants.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Another One Bites the Dust
In the second day of the 24 season premiere, another CTU agent was killed. By Jack Bauer, of course. I, for one, was not upset. Agent Curtis Manning was shot by Jack because he wanted to kill a known terrorist (Assad) who was just given a pardon by the President. A few years earlier, Assad had beheaded some of Manning’s fellow army men in Iraq. Manning couldn’t handle letting him go, so Jack had to put him down with a gun shot to the neck. Great aim by Jack despite spending the previous 2 years being tortured in a Chinese prison.
I wonder what I could do after 2 years of doing nothing. (Ignore being tortured, because I wouldn’t survive torture. I’d confess to kidnapping the Lindberg baby.) I’m pretty sure I could walk. I would probably be able to throw a ball around. Of course, that assumes that I have moderate talent at it right now. I doubt I’d be able to jump right back into my video games. And I’m sure it would take me awhile to remember how to type, let alone how to write macros in Excel. Would I be able to fire a gun into a man’s neck at 20 yards? I’m guessing no.
Manning’s death made me realize something about CTU. Maybe it’s because I’m an actuary who works on pension plans, but it seems to me like CTU is saving a FORTUNE on their retirement plan because nobody actually makes it to retirement. Let’s look at some of the CTU characters over the years:
Jack – still alive, but only barely.
Nina – traitor, Jack killed her
Michelle – killed by a car bomb
Tony Almeida – killed by a former CTU agent, played by Robocop himself, Peter Weller
Peter Weller’s character – killed by Jack just because
Edgar – killed by nerve gas (along with 80% of the CTU office last year)
Rudy (Sean Astin’s character) – killed by nerve gas (but to save everyone else’s life)
Ryan Chappelle – shot in the head by Jack at the bequest of terrorists
George Mason – killed mostly by a radioactive leak, but effectively by a nuclear bomb
Gael – killed by nerve gas, but in a hotel, not CTU
Chase managed to “retire,” but only after Jack chopped off his arm to save the world. I know that I’m missing some people. I’m certainly not counting any of the “red-shirts” (see Star Trek) who went to (e.g.) pick up Kim but ended up getting killed by terrorists. In fact, one of the few characters to leave CTU without dying (Milo) just returned this year. And you know what that means, right? He’s going to die at some point.
And that gets me back to my original point. With nobody reaching retirement, why do people work at CTU? It has to have the worst employee survey results ever. Can you even imagine the survey? “Do you feel engaged at work?” “Does your manager support you?” “Have you ever had to defuse a nuclear bomb?” I could just imagine the HR company trying to summarize the results. “Bill, we’re missing about 25% of the surveys and it’s my understanding that those people are all dead now. We’re going to make all their answers ‘undecided.’”
Besides Manning dying, there was quite a bit of action last night. They blew up a nuclear bomb, which means that Jack wasn’t able to “save the day.” I heard some people at work talk about how this is the first time (a) that a nuclear bomb went off on TV and (b) that Jack didn’t save the day.
They’re wrong on both parts. In the second season, George Mason (dying of radiation poisoning) flew a plane loaded with a nuclear bomb into the desert so it could explode without major loss of life. And last year, there were a few instances of nerve gas being released throughout the city.
This year, we’re faced with the prospect of the terrorists exploding 4 more nuclear bombs in L.A., which I suppose is a bad thing in principal. In reality, losing L.A. wouldn’t be so bad, except that we wouldn’t be able to watch 24 any more. Now, there’s a conundrum.
Anyway, after watching all 4 hours of 24 over the past couple of days, I have one lingering question: what’s up with the Chinese? When Jack was handed back over to the Americans in the first hour, the Head Chinese Dude said that the President paid a steep price for getting Jack back. What did he pay? I assume that’s foreshadowing and not a red herring. And will the Chinese be pissed that the terrorists didn’t kill Jack? I hope they try to kidnap him again at the end of the season so they can finish him off. I want to see Jack go Kung Fu on those commie bastards!
I wonder what I could do after 2 years of doing nothing. (Ignore being tortured, because I wouldn’t survive torture. I’d confess to kidnapping the Lindberg baby.) I’m pretty sure I could walk. I would probably be able to throw a ball around. Of course, that assumes that I have moderate talent at it right now. I doubt I’d be able to jump right back into my video games. And I’m sure it would take me awhile to remember how to type, let alone how to write macros in Excel. Would I be able to fire a gun into a man’s neck at 20 yards? I’m guessing no.
Manning’s death made me realize something about CTU. Maybe it’s because I’m an actuary who works on pension plans, but it seems to me like CTU is saving a FORTUNE on their retirement plan because nobody actually makes it to retirement. Let’s look at some of the CTU characters over the years:
Jack – still alive, but only barely.
Nina – traitor, Jack killed her
Michelle – killed by a car bomb
Tony Almeida – killed by a former CTU agent, played by Robocop himself, Peter Weller
Peter Weller’s character – killed by Jack just because
Edgar – killed by nerve gas (along with 80% of the CTU office last year)
Rudy (Sean Astin’s character) – killed by nerve gas (but to save everyone else’s life)
Ryan Chappelle – shot in the head by Jack at the bequest of terrorists
George Mason – killed mostly by a radioactive leak, but effectively by a nuclear bomb
Gael – killed by nerve gas, but in a hotel, not CTU
Chase managed to “retire,” but only after Jack chopped off his arm to save the world. I know that I’m missing some people. I’m certainly not counting any of the “red-shirts” (see Star Trek) who went to (e.g.) pick up Kim but ended up getting killed by terrorists. In fact, one of the few characters to leave CTU without dying (Milo) just returned this year. And you know what that means, right? He’s going to die at some point.
And that gets me back to my original point. With nobody reaching retirement, why do people work at CTU? It has to have the worst employee survey results ever. Can you even imagine the survey? “Do you feel engaged at work?” “Does your manager support you?” “Have you ever had to defuse a nuclear bomb?” I could just imagine the HR company trying to summarize the results. “Bill, we’re missing about 25% of the surveys and it’s my understanding that those people are all dead now. We’re going to make all their answers ‘undecided.’”
Besides Manning dying, there was quite a bit of action last night. They blew up a nuclear bomb, which means that Jack wasn’t able to “save the day.” I heard some people at work talk about how this is the first time (a) that a nuclear bomb went off on TV and (b) that Jack didn’t save the day.
They’re wrong on both parts. In the second season, George Mason (dying of radiation poisoning) flew a plane loaded with a nuclear bomb into the desert so it could explode without major loss of life. And last year, there were a few instances of nerve gas being released throughout the city.
This year, we’re faced with the prospect of the terrorists exploding 4 more nuclear bombs in L.A., which I suppose is a bad thing in principal. In reality, losing L.A. wouldn’t be so bad, except that we wouldn’t be able to watch 24 any more. Now, there’s a conundrum.
Anyway, after watching all 4 hours of 24 over the past couple of days, I have one lingering question: what’s up with the Chinese? When Jack was handed back over to the Americans in the first hour, the Head Chinese Dude said that the President paid a steep price for getting Jack back. What did he pay? I assume that’s foreshadowing and not a red herring. And will the Chinese be pissed that the terrorists didn’t kill Jack? I hope they try to kidnap him again at the end of the season so they can finish him off. I want to see Jack go Kung Fu on those commie bastards!
Monday, January 15, 2007
Me So Tired
For some reason, I haven't been sleeping well lately. The optimist in me would like to say that it has something to do with me working out again. The theory is that since I've lost weight and stopped eating as poorly and drinking so much, that maybe my body was responding by needing less sleep. Well, that certainly can't be true because I'm tired as all hell.
(By the way, I think the reason that I'm so tired is because of this party I went to on Saturday. It was extremely smoky and I'm never around smoke anymore. So it irritated my nose. Which caused me to snore at night. Which is waking me up. And keeping me up at night. Yet another example of how much my life sucks right now. I've zoomed right past "adult," right past "parent" and become "my parents." So help me, if I start listening to old episodes of "The Shadow" on AM radio on Sunday nights, I'll shoot myself. And, no, I didn't make that up. Yes, trips back from Wisconsin with my dad driving were GREAT.)
And so it's 10:20 at night. My intentions were to go to sleep at 9:00, after another 2-hour 24. (By the way, another great episode. More on that tomorrow.) I was supposed to send out an email by the end of the day. I was waiting to hear from some people from work whether it was okay or not. So at 9:00, I logged onto my laptop and discovered that someone suggested some edits. Fine, I'd make the changes and then send it out. But before I knew it, I was in an online chat about the email.
So now it's 10:25 and I'm still waiting for the final sign-off. And this is when I realized that having a mobile workforce isn't necessarily a good thing. When I agreed to work at Geeks, Inc., I asked whether I would be given a laptop. They said "yes," which I liked because I could work at home. Now I'm coming to regret that I asked. And all because I'm tired. That's why the digital age is sometimes a double-edged sword. Yes, it allows you the freedom to work from home and spend more time with your family. But, the ability to work from home means that there's an expectation that you'll be readily accessible. Which of course means less time with the family. The good news is that I think it's only going to get better as technology improves.
(By the way, I think the reason that I'm so tired is because of this party I went to on Saturday. It was extremely smoky and I'm never around smoke anymore. So it irritated my nose. Which caused me to snore at night. Which is waking me up. And keeping me up at night. Yet another example of how much my life sucks right now. I've zoomed right past "adult," right past "parent" and become "my parents." So help me, if I start listening to old episodes of "The Shadow" on AM radio on Sunday nights, I'll shoot myself. And, no, I didn't make that up. Yes, trips back from Wisconsin with my dad driving were GREAT.)
And so it's 10:20 at night. My intentions were to go to sleep at 9:00, after another 2-hour 24. (By the way, another great episode. More on that tomorrow.) I was supposed to send out an email by the end of the day. I was waiting to hear from some people from work whether it was okay or not. So at 9:00, I logged onto my laptop and discovered that someone suggested some edits. Fine, I'd make the changes and then send it out. But before I knew it, I was in an online chat about the email.
So now it's 10:25 and I'm still waiting for the final sign-off. And this is when I realized that having a mobile workforce isn't necessarily a good thing. When I agreed to work at Geeks, Inc., I asked whether I would be given a laptop. They said "yes," which I liked because I could work at home. Now I'm coming to regret that I asked. And all because I'm tired. That's why the digital age is sometimes a double-edged sword. Yes, it allows you the freedom to work from home and spend more time with your family. But, the ability to work from home means that there's an expectation that you'll be readily accessible. Which of course means less time with the family. The good news is that I think it's only going to get better as technology improves.
Jack is Back
Last night was the season premiere of 24. As I wrote last week, I was really looking forward to it. The Wife? Not so much. It’s not that she doesn’t like 24, which she doesn’t. Rather, she doesn’t like that it turns me into a useless shush-ing machine. (“Luke just lit the dog on fire.” “SHHHH! At the commercial!”)
And so 24 picks up 2 years after last season ended. Jack has been in a Chinese prison the whole time, being tortured. I’m a little surprised that we haven’t heard anything from a Chinese spokesman saying that they don’t torture people, let alone rogue agents of fictitious government agencies. I’m guessing we’ll hear something later this week. It is Martin Luther King Day, after all, and even the Chinese have the day off work.
Jack is a little worse for wear. He has scars all over his body from the torture, including a rather crusty-looking hand. I can understand giving him scars on his back, but why did the producers put them on his hand too? All I could think is that Keifer is going to have to sit through an extra 30 minutes of make-up every day just to make it look like his hand was scarred. That seems unnecessary. Of course, they could just go the Star Wars route like they did with Luke Skywalker and just give him a glove to wear. But Jack isn’t that much of a wimp. (Furthermore, I don’t think Jack would have put up with any of those Ewoks. He would have just shot them all because they weren’t being “cooperative.”)
It was interesting to see them develop Jack’s character. If there was one thing Jack was always good at, it was torturing people. But now after being tortured himself for 2 years, he’s lost his edge. I wonder if there’s a connection there. What I’m really looking forward to is episode 6 (or so) when Jack forgets he was ever tortured and goes back to being Jack. It happened in Season 2 when Jack managed to kick heroin in about 6-8 hours. It can happen again.
A lot of familiar faces show up this time around, with Wayne Palmer taking over the role of President. The Wife caught a few minutes of 24 and saw Wayne as President. “Another black President?” “It’s actually the brother of the first one.” (Cue eye roll.) Yeah, like this country would ever elect someone for President based solely on the fact that someone in his family was President before. Really, if you’re going to roll your eyes, it should be at the fact that the people of the U.S. just elected a man with no political history as President. Really, the closest he came to politics was when he nailed the wife of a prominent Senator. And he got elected despite being at the scene of the crime when said mistress killed (a) the former First Lady and then (b) herself? Okay. Whatever.
Anyway, Jack is back doing what Jack does best. Like killing people in creative ways (by biting someone’s neck), tossing off great lines (like “we have no other choice!”), and disregarding the orders of his superiors but eventually being proven right. Of course, since his superiors basically just sent him to his death, does he really have to listen to them? What are they going to do, kill him? Really, what he should be afraid of is that they would send him back to China to be tortured. And since none of the physical torture worked, they should just make him watch a Bears game. After seeing Devin Hester fumble his third punt return, I would have told the Chinese that I was the gunman on the grassy knoll.
And so 24 picks up 2 years after last season ended. Jack has been in a Chinese prison the whole time, being tortured. I’m a little surprised that we haven’t heard anything from a Chinese spokesman saying that they don’t torture people, let alone rogue agents of fictitious government agencies. I’m guessing we’ll hear something later this week. It is Martin Luther King Day, after all, and even the Chinese have the day off work.
Jack is a little worse for wear. He has scars all over his body from the torture, including a rather crusty-looking hand. I can understand giving him scars on his back, but why did the producers put them on his hand too? All I could think is that Keifer is going to have to sit through an extra 30 minutes of make-up every day just to make it look like his hand was scarred. That seems unnecessary. Of course, they could just go the Star Wars route like they did with Luke Skywalker and just give him a glove to wear. But Jack isn’t that much of a wimp. (Furthermore, I don’t think Jack would have put up with any of those Ewoks. He would have just shot them all because they weren’t being “cooperative.”)
It was interesting to see them develop Jack’s character. If there was one thing Jack was always good at, it was torturing people. But now after being tortured himself for 2 years, he’s lost his edge. I wonder if there’s a connection there. What I’m really looking forward to is episode 6 (or so) when Jack forgets he was ever tortured and goes back to being Jack. It happened in Season 2 when Jack managed to kick heroin in about 6-8 hours. It can happen again.
A lot of familiar faces show up this time around, with Wayne Palmer taking over the role of President. The Wife caught a few minutes of 24 and saw Wayne as President. “Another black President?” “It’s actually the brother of the first one.” (Cue eye roll.) Yeah, like this country would ever elect someone for President based solely on the fact that someone in his family was President before. Really, if you’re going to roll your eyes, it should be at the fact that the people of the U.S. just elected a man with no political history as President. Really, the closest he came to politics was when he nailed the wife of a prominent Senator. And he got elected despite being at the scene of the crime when said mistress killed (a) the former First Lady and then (b) herself? Okay. Whatever.
Anyway, Jack is back doing what Jack does best. Like killing people in creative ways (by biting someone’s neck), tossing off great lines (like “we have no other choice!”), and disregarding the orders of his superiors but eventually being proven right. Of course, since his superiors basically just sent him to his death, does he really have to listen to them? What are they going to do, kill him? Really, what he should be afraid of is that they would send him back to China to be tortured. And since none of the physical torture worked, they should just make him watch a Bears game. After seeing Devin Hester fumble his third punt return, I would have told the Chinese that I was the gunman on the grassy knoll.
