Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Something About Counting Eggs and Hatching
So, I’m a millionaire. Guaranteed. The Megamillions jackpot is at $355 million and I’ve got the winning ticket in my pocket right now. I can’t possibly lose! I’m already spending the money. So if I somehow manage to not win (unimaginable, really), that Ferrari dealer is going to be mighty upset when I have to tell him I can’t afford to pay him half a million dollars.
Okay, I realize I have no chance of winning. But at least I have something to look forward to tonight. I could go to sleep worth over $100 million (after taxes and a lump sum payment). I think I could handle that.
My general rule for playing the lottery is that I won’t start playing until the jackpot hits $150 million. After all, winning anything less than that is a complete waste of time. What on earth would I do with, say, $10 million in cash? Buy a cup of coffee, maybe. It’s more hassle than it’s worth.
I’ve been buying lottery tickets for the last week or so now. Every morning, I wake up and check my numbers. And every morning, I found out that I didn’t win. While that’s a little depressing, a little part of me was happy because I saw that nobody won. I don’t mind losing if I have another shot at winning. And winning more money, no less.
Buying a ticket today was quite a pain the butt though. I usually buy them at my train station. I only have about 3-5 minutes before my train comes, so I have to do it quickly. Sure enough, today there were about 5 people in line. And the stupid lottery machine broke! It kept jamming. I wasn’t able to get a ticket.
(By the way, there are two lottery-related phenomena that I love. One is people buying $20 worth of tickets. The other is people selecting their own numbers. Granted, having 20 numbers makes you 20 times more likely to win the lottery than me with my 1 number. Your odds just went from 1 in 300 million to 1 in 15 million. Sweet. But your return on investment just fell from about 12 billion percent to 600 million percent! Ha! Seriously, you have no shot of winning the lottery with any amount of tickets. Why waste more than $1?
And as far as picking your own numbers goes, why bother? I think a lot of people think that the quick picks are “unlucky.” Sure they are. But if your numbers are so lucky, why are you even playing the lottery? Shouldn’t you have already won? Why go through the time and effort of filling out a scantron form with your own lottery numbers when the quick picks are just as likely to win? Hasn’t anyone studied probabilities and statistics for about 10 years like me?)
Anyway, I wasn’t able to get my lottery ticket at my usual place. Thankfully, there’s a convenience mart right by my train station in the city. So I stopped in there to get a ticket. Naturally, it was packed with several other commuters trying to make a quick buck. And, of course, I had to wait in line behind people buying $20 in tickets and using their own numbers.
When I finally got up to the counter, the guy (who was working like a dog, about to keel over from all the hustling about) asked me what I wanted. I said $1 in quick picks. And he just gave me a ticket off the counter, collected my money and I was off. I was a little upset by this. I know the guy printed them just a few minutes earlier to help ease the congestion around his booth. I can’t blame him. But for some reason, I want to know that the ticket I bought was actually meant for me. You know, now that I think about it, I should probably just pick my own numbers. That way I can make sure that the ticket’s for me. And if I’m going to pick one set of numbers, why not 20? Then I just need ONE set of numbers to be lucky and I’m a millionaire! Excuse me for a minute while I go back to the convenience store.
Okay, I realize I have no chance of winning. But at least I have something to look forward to tonight. I could go to sleep worth over $100 million (after taxes and a lump sum payment). I think I could handle that.
My general rule for playing the lottery is that I won’t start playing until the jackpot hits $150 million. After all, winning anything less than that is a complete waste of time. What on earth would I do with, say, $10 million in cash? Buy a cup of coffee, maybe. It’s more hassle than it’s worth.
I’ve been buying lottery tickets for the last week or so now. Every morning, I wake up and check my numbers. And every morning, I found out that I didn’t win. While that’s a little depressing, a little part of me was happy because I saw that nobody won. I don’t mind losing if I have another shot at winning. And winning more money, no less.
Buying a ticket today was quite a pain the butt though. I usually buy them at my train station. I only have about 3-5 minutes before my train comes, so I have to do it quickly. Sure enough, today there were about 5 people in line. And the stupid lottery machine broke! It kept jamming. I wasn’t able to get a ticket.
(By the way, there are two lottery-related phenomena that I love. One is people buying $20 worth of tickets. The other is people selecting their own numbers. Granted, having 20 numbers makes you 20 times more likely to win the lottery than me with my 1 number. Your odds just went from 1 in 300 million to 1 in 15 million. Sweet. But your return on investment just fell from about 12 billion percent to 600 million percent! Ha! Seriously, you have no shot of winning the lottery with any amount of tickets. Why waste more than $1?
And as far as picking your own numbers goes, why bother? I think a lot of people think that the quick picks are “unlucky.” Sure they are. But if your numbers are so lucky, why are you even playing the lottery? Shouldn’t you have already won? Why go through the time and effort of filling out a scantron form with your own lottery numbers when the quick picks are just as likely to win? Hasn’t anyone studied probabilities and statistics for about 10 years like me?)
Anyway, I wasn’t able to get my lottery ticket at my usual place. Thankfully, there’s a convenience mart right by my train station in the city. So I stopped in there to get a ticket. Naturally, it was packed with several other commuters trying to make a quick buck. And, of course, I had to wait in line behind people buying $20 in tickets and using their own numbers.
When I finally got up to the counter, the guy (who was working like a dog, about to keel over from all the hustling about) asked me what I wanted. I said $1 in quick picks. And he just gave me a ticket off the counter, collected my money and I was off. I was a little upset by this. I know the guy printed them just a few minutes earlier to help ease the congestion around his booth. I can’t blame him. But for some reason, I want to know that the ticket I bought was actually meant for me. You know, now that I think about it, I should probably just pick my own numbers. That way I can make sure that the ticket’s for me. And if I’m going to pick one set of numbers, why not 20? Then I just need ONE set of numbers to be lucky and I’m a millionaire! Excuse me for a minute while I go back to the convenience store.
