Friday, June 02, 2006
It's Official! I'm a Father!
When my son was born last year, I started questioning whether he was actually my child. Unlike me, he had blond hair and blue eyes. I wasn't TOO surprised since The Wife has blond hair and blue eyes. But except for my toes and ears, he really didn't have any traits that I could definitively say come from me. Now that he's in the toddler room at daycare, though, I can proudly say that Luke is in fact my son. No DNA test required.
My family is well-known for being, shall we say, "less than subtle." When we were kids, we fought a lot. We were outspoken and obnoxious. We didn't ask permission and we didn't share. We were hellions. (In all fairness, not much has changed, except for our height. And that hasn't changed much anyway.) It turns out that Luke is developing the same (wonderful) personality traits.
(It should be noted that The Wife came from a more idyllic family. There was little fighting or tomfoolery between her and her brother. Her mom was quite overwhelmed when she first encountered my niece and nephews. Quite rambunctious, they are. And she was not prepared for that. By the way, there needs to be a term for "nieces and nephews." I've long been a proponent of "niephews," but I'm willing to listen to alternatives.)
Luke spent the first 15 months of his life in the "infant room" at daycare. It was a great place for him to develop, but since he started walking at 10 months, he quickly got bored in that room. So we were thrilled to find out that he'd be entering the "toddler room," which consists of children from 15 to 30 months of age. What we didn't realize was that our little, darling child would quickly become the bully of the class, despite being one of the smallest children.
Apparently, Luke will walk up to other kids and push them down. Or he'll grab ahold of them and push/pull them. Or he'll grab things right out of their hands. He doesn't care. If he sees something, he takes it. If someone's in his way, he gets them out of his way. It doesn't matter if the kid is bigger than him. (It's quite possible that Luke has even worse depth-perception than I do. He might not realize that these kids are actually bigger than him. He might just think that they're really close.) And the only form of retaliation that the other kids have discovered so far is biting. And so for the second time in as many weeks, Luke's come home with bite marks all over his arms.
I know that we have to teach Luke to share and to be more civil to other children. But that's a little difficult because he doesn't have anyone to share with or be civil to. The Wife takes him to playgroups, so hopefully he'll learn to behave better at those. Otherwise, I guess I'm going to have to start biting him until he learns his lesson.
My family is well-known for being, shall we say, "less than subtle." When we were kids, we fought a lot. We were outspoken and obnoxious. We didn't ask permission and we didn't share. We were hellions. (In all fairness, not much has changed, except for our height. And that hasn't changed much anyway.) It turns out that Luke is developing the same (wonderful) personality traits.
(It should be noted that The Wife came from a more idyllic family. There was little fighting or tomfoolery between her and her brother. Her mom was quite overwhelmed when she first encountered my niece and nephews. Quite rambunctious, they are. And she was not prepared for that. By the way, there needs to be a term for "nieces and nephews." I've long been a proponent of "niephews," but I'm willing to listen to alternatives.)
Luke spent the first 15 months of his life in the "infant room" at daycare. It was a great place for him to develop, but since he started walking at 10 months, he quickly got bored in that room. So we were thrilled to find out that he'd be entering the "toddler room," which consists of children from 15 to 30 months of age. What we didn't realize was that our little, darling child would quickly become the bully of the class, despite being one of the smallest children.
Apparently, Luke will walk up to other kids and push them down. Or he'll grab ahold of them and push/pull them. Or he'll grab things right out of their hands. He doesn't care. If he sees something, he takes it. If someone's in his way, he gets them out of his way. It doesn't matter if the kid is bigger than him. (It's quite possible that Luke has even worse depth-perception than I do. He might not realize that these kids are actually bigger than him. He might just think that they're really close.) And the only form of retaliation that the other kids have discovered so far is biting. And so for the second time in as many weeks, Luke's come home with bite marks all over his arms.
I know that we have to teach Luke to share and to be more civil to other children. But that's a little difficult because he doesn't have anyone to share with or be civil to. The Wife takes him to playgroups, so hopefully he'll learn to behave better at those. Otherwise, I guess I'm going to have to start biting him until he learns his lesson.
Culture Club
I'm now wrapping up my third week at LAF and I'm still trying to figure out their culture. Typically, I don't like to fully unleash The Dow on anybody until I understand how receptive they are. (Of course, being unreceptive to my obnoxious, boorish behavior won't protect them from me. In fact, it'll probably unleash an even worse version.)
At past jobs, I let my true personality "shine" through almost right away. That shocked and scared many people. It might even explain why I was only at CCA for 6 months and why everyone at Abbott/Hospira still cringes when they hear my name. So now I'm playing things carefully. What's weird is that the people in this office keep sending mixed signals.
The office is business casual. But apparently, there are different levels of business casual. There's polo-and-khaki business casual. Then there's slacks-and-long-sleeve-buttoned-down-shirts business casual. With dress shoes. That's the category that this office seems to fall into. I'm not all that thrilled about that. Mostly because my entire wardrobe consists of polos and khakis. And my Dr. Marten's seem to be a little informal around here. Which is a damn shame because they're SO comfortable. So, I've been slowly improving my wardrobe to fit in better around here since it seems like they're all uptight and conservative.
Well, then I'm told about all the outings they have. First, there was the comedy club outing a couple weeks ago. In two weeks, we're going to a Cubs game. So we're all leaving the office at 11:00 to grab lunch near Wrigley and get our drinks on. In July, there's a "retreat" at Lake Geneva. We're heading up there on a Thursday morning so we can get to the wine tasting by noon. It sounds like the entire retreat consists of different ways to get drunk.
Furthermore, we had a formal lunch the other day (led by our practice leader) just so the new people could get to know each other (and some of the managers). Topics of conversation? Pro wrestling, beer helmets, swears (and their use in Scrabble). The practice leader was the one to proudly boast of his beer helmet in college. And they seemed to be encouraging partying.
So it seems like this office is pretty serious during working hours, but they know how to cut loose after work. I like that mind-set. At least, I would have liked it about 2 years ago. Now that I have a wife and kid and live out in the suburbs, it's not quite as appealing to me. That said, a few years from now when I have a wife and multiple kids out in the suburbs, I'm going to want to spend as much time drinking in the city as possible.
At past jobs, I let my true personality "shine" through almost right away. That shocked and scared many people. It might even explain why I was only at CCA for 6 months and why everyone at Abbott/Hospira still cringes when they hear my name. So now I'm playing things carefully. What's weird is that the people in this office keep sending mixed signals.
The office is business casual. But apparently, there are different levels of business casual. There's polo-and-khaki business casual. Then there's slacks-and-long-sleeve-buttoned-down-shirts business casual. With dress shoes. That's the category that this office seems to fall into. I'm not all that thrilled about that. Mostly because my entire wardrobe consists of polos and khakis. And my Dr. Marten's seem to be a little informal around here. Which is a damn shame because they're SO comfortable. So, I've been slowly improving my wardrobe to fit in better around here since it seems like they're all uptight and conservative.
Well, then I'm told about all the outings they have. First, there was the comedy club outing a couple weeks ago. In two weeks, we're going to a Cubs game. So we're all leaving the office at 11:00 to grab lunch near Wrigley and get our drinks on. In July, there's a "retreat" at Lake Geneva. We're heading up there on a Thursday morning so we can get to the wine tasting by noon. It sounds like the entire retreat consists of different ways to get drunk.
Furthermore, we had a formal lunch the other day (led by our practice leader) just so the new people could get to know each other (and some of the managers). Topics of conversation? Pro wrestling, beer helmets, swears (and their use in Scrabble). The practice leader was the one to proudly boast of his beer helmet in college. And they seemed to be encouraging partying.
So it seems like this office is pretty serious during working hours, but they know how to cut loose after work. I like that mind-set. At least, I would have liked it about 2 years ago. Now that I have a wife and kid and live out in the suburbs, it's not quite as appealing to me. That said, a few years from now when I have a wife and multiple kids out in the suburbs, I'm going to want to spend as much time drinking in the city as possible.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Working Like a Dog
Yesterday was my indoctrination into work at LAF. I had to stay late at work and was busy all day. It was a little annoying because I had plans with the wife, but it was also a bit refreshing. It's been a LONG time since I've had a job that required so much effort from me. But I don't want to bore you with a story about work. Nobody likes work stories. No, I want to tell you another story about Rick.
Here at LAF, we use numerous computer programs. One of our vendors offered to come here on Tuesday to teach me (and another new guy) how to use one of their programs. It was mighty kind of them and I took them up on their offer. Two people showed up, a guy and a girl. They trained us and then left. I really didn't think twice about it.
Yesterday, Rick asked me, "Who was that hot blonde you were on the elevator with?" Huh? The only time I really take the elevator is when I arrive and leave work. Both times, I'm quite bleary-eyed and paying no attention to the people in the elevator. So I told Rick I had no idea what the hell he was talking about. After a little to and fro, I realized he was talking about the female vendor.
I explained to him that the training session was a service that the vendor provided to help us be more productive, blah, blah, blah. Rick asked me if she was single. WHAT? I don't know, I told him. Then he asked if I had her number. WHAT!!! Uh nope. I did have the guy's number if he wanted that. I explained that the guy was really the trainer and the woman seemed to be kinda new to the job, as if he was showing her how to do the training. He said he didn't want the number and then walked away.
(Keep in mind that he asked me this at my cube. My cube is in a six-pack with an aisle running down it. There's another six-pack on either side of me and a few offices at the end of the aisle. So, I'm guessing that about 20 people could have heard him say this.)
After about 5 minutes, Rick comes back to my cube and asks for the guy's number. Apparently, he's going to call him and try to set up a training session in the hopes that the woman will show up too. Sigh. This seems like a great use of company resources (both ours and hers) just so he can maybe meet a woman. A woman who will think he's a complete scumbag and a loser. This man has no concept of reality and I think it's only a matter of time before he's fired from this job. Other than that, he's a great guy to work with, and I'm glad LAF made him my "buddy."
Here at LAF, we use numerous computer programs. One of our vendors offered to come here on Tuesday to teach me (and another new guy) how to use one of their programs. It was mighty kind of them and I took them up on their offer. Two people showed up, a guy and a girl. They trained us and then left. I really didn't think twice about it.
Yesterday, Rick asked me, "Who was that hot blonde you were on the elevator with?" Huh? The only time I really take the elevator is when I arrive and leave work. Both times, I'm quite bleary-eyed and paying no attention to the people in the elevator. So I told Rick I had no idea what the hell he was talking about. After a little to and fro, I realized he was talking about the female vendor.
I explained to him that the training session was a service that the vendor provided to help us be more productive, blah, blah, blah. Rick asked me if she was single. WHAT? I don't know, I told him. Then he asked if I had her number. WHAT!!! Uh nope. I did have the guy's number if he wanted that. I explained that the guy was really the trainer and the woman seemed to be kinda new to the job, as if he was showing her how to do the training. He said he didn't want the number and then walked away.
(Keep in mind that he asked me this at my cube. My cube is in a six-pack with an aisle running down it. There's another six-pack on either side of me and a few offices at the end of the aisle. So, I'm guessing that about 20 people could have heard him say this.)
After about 5 minutes, Rick comes back to my cube and asks for the guy's number. Apparently, he's going to call him and try to set up a training session in the hopes that the woman will show up too. Sigh. This seems like a great use of company resources (both ours and hers) just so he can maybe meet a woman. A woman who will think he's a complete scumbag and a loser. This man has no concept of reality and I think it's only a matter of time before he's fired from this job. Other than that, he's a great guy to work with, and I'm glad LAF made him my "buddy."
