Friday, September 01, 2006
Pirates of the Caribbean II
The Wife and I had a very unusual night on Saturday. We had a “date.” I don’t know if you know what a “date” is. Apparently, it’s what people with lives do. They go outside the house. Then they go somewhere and do something. With nobody else. It’s quite a novel idea. I’m told that people without kids go on these “dates” quite often. At one point, I didn’t have a kid, yet I don’t remember these supposed “dates.” They must have been a LONG time ago.
Anyway, The Wife and I got a babysitter and decided to head over to Buffalo Wild Wings (nee BW3) for some dinner before hitting the movie theater to see Pirates of the Caribbean II. We figured that the movie had been out about a month and made a billion dollars. Thus, it met a few of our essential criteria. (A) In theory, it must be entertaining. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have made so much money. (B) It’s been out longer than 10 days, which means are AMC movie passes are actually valid. Yay! Free movie! (C) It’s been out long enough that the movie shouldn’t be too crowded. Well, 2 out of 3 ain’t bad.
We walked into the theater right as the previews were starting. We couldn’t believe it. The movie was PACKED. The only seats remaining were in the first three rows or in the handicapped seats. I looked at The Wife and decided that we’d be fine in the handicapped seats. (In her tired-pregnant state, she can easily pass for mentally challenged any time after 7:00 p.m. And frankly, I’m no genius at any time of day.)
I’d never sat in the handicapped seats before. One nice thing is that there are no seats in front of you, so you get to spread your legs out. I can’t tell you how nice this is for someone as tall as me. When you’re 5’7”, you don’t comfortably fit into the “average” seats they have in movie theaters. So whenever you get a chance to grab a little extra legroom, you seize it.
The seats turned out to be cursed. (By pirates, of course.) Shortly after the movie began, these two kids behind us decided to start talking. They were about 7, I’m guessing. (That means they were anywhere from 3 to 18.) Now, it’s one thing to talk a little here and there. But this was incessant talking. And it was LOUD. These kids needed to learn what whispering is. And what made it REALLY annoying was that their guardians (who I think were their grandparents) said absolutely NOTHING about it. The Wife and I did, though. (Yeah, it made me feel REALLY old.) But the kids didn’t get the hint. They were completely oblivious, as many kids tend to be.
This went on for the first 30 minutes of the movie. Eventually an usher came in and told them to shut their yaps or they’d have to leave. Apparently, the woman in the handicapped seats next to us (which is about 30 feet from where we were sitting) had had enough and told the usher. I was quite appalled by this behavior. Not that she would have the cajones to tell the usher, but that it never occurred to me that I could do the same thing. And then what REALLY annoyed me was the realization that I’m such an old fart now that I would have told the usher and was sorry that I didn’t.
Oh yeah. The movie was good. It had an Empire Strikes Back type of ending where things really aren’t fully resolved. That’s always annoying. I give it 4 out of 5 stars. It might have gotten more if it weren’t for those two stupid kids. Let that be a lesson to Jerry Bruckheimer when he releases Part 3 next summer! (By the way, that has to be the longest Pirates review that said absolutely nothing about the actual movie.)
Anyway, The Wife and I got a babysitter and decided to head over to Buffalo Wild Wings (nee BW3) for some dinner before hitting the movie theater to see Pirates of the Caribbean II. We figured that the movie had been out about a month and made a billion dollars. Thus, it met a few of our essential criteria. (A) In theory, it must be entertaining. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have made so much money. (B) It’s been out longer than 10 days, which means are AMC movie passes are actually valid. Yay! Free movie! (C) It’s been out long enough that the movie shouldn’t be too crowded. Well, 2 out of 3 ain’t bad.
We walked into the theater right as the previews were starting. We couldn’t believe it. The movie was PACKED. The only seats remaining were in the first three rows or in the handicapped seats. I looked at The Wife and decided that we’d be fine in the handicapped seats. (In her tired-pregnant state, she can easily pass for mentally challenged any time after 7:00 p.m. And frankly, I’m no genius at any time of day.)
I’d never sat in the handicapped seats before. One nice thing is that there are no seats in front of you, so you get to spread your legs out. I can’t tell you how nice this is for someone as tall as me. When you’re 5’7”, you don’t comfortably fit into the “average” seats they have in movie theaters. So whenever you get a chance to grab a little extra legroom, you seize it.
The seats turned out to be cursed. (By pirates, of course.) Shortly after the movie began, these two kids behind us decided to start talking. They were about 7, I’m guessing. (That means they were anywhere from 3 to 18.) Now, it’s one thing to talk a little here and there. But this was incessant talking. And it was LOUD. These kids needed to learn what whispering is. And what made it REALLY annoying was that their guardians (who I think were their grandparents) said absolutely NOTHING about it. The Wife and I did, though. (Yeah, it made me feel REALLY old.) But the kids didn’t get the hint. They were completely oblivious, as many kids tend to be.
This went on for the first 30 minutes of the movie. Eventually an usher came in and told them to shut their yaps or they’d have to leave. Apparently, the woman in the handicapped seats next to us (which is about 30 feet from where we were sitting) had had enough and told the usher. I was quite appalled by this behavior. Not that she would have the cajones to tell the usher, but that it never occurred to me that I could do the same thing. And then what REALLY annoyed me was the realization that I’m such an old fart now that I would have told the usher and was sorry that I didn’t.
Oh yeah. The movie was good. It had an Empire Strikes Back type of ending where things really aren’t fully resolved. That’s always annoying. I give it 4 out of 5 stars. It might have gotten more if it weren’t for those two stupid kids. Let that be a lesson to Jerry Bruckheimer when he releases Part 3 next summer! (By the way, that has to be the longest Pirates review that said absolutely nothing about the actual movie.)
