Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Commuting Disaster
Lately, I’ve been riding my bike to the train station every morning. One reason is that I’m still training for my triathlon and biking is one part of the race. The other reason is that my truck is broken again and is in the shop (or the “truck doctor” as Luke has come to know it). My ride home yesterday became quite a disaster.
My ride home is about 5 miles. About 1.5 miles into it, I rode over a nail and popped my rear tire. I’d never actually popped a tire like that. I tend to ride over things and get slow leaks. This time, my tire went flat IMMEDIATELY. So now I’m 3.5 miles from home, it’s 6:00, and I’m hungry. (I’ve also got half a pack of smokes, it’s dark and I’m wearing sunglasses. But that’s besides the point.)
Naturally, I can think of only one thing to do, call The Wife. The problem is that there’s no answer at home. So I leave a message telling her that it’s an emergency and to call me. (By the way, if you want to give your wife a heart attack, leave her a voicemail saying that there’s an emergency, but don’t tell her what it is. Lots of fun for everyone!)
There are a few problems with leaving The Wife a message. First is that she has a hearing problem. So, it’s quite possible she was at home and just didn’t hear the phone. Plus, she’s chasing two kids around and might not have been physically able to get to the phone. Also, our answering machine is in our office, so it’s not always apparent that we even HAVE a message. And finally, The Wife lost her cell phone, so I had no way of getting in touch with her if she was at a park with the kids. (By the way, to make matters worse, my internet at work wasn’t working. The Wife and I usually do most of our daytime communication via email. So if she’s going to take Luke and Courtney to a park in the afternoon, she’ll usually tell me via email. So I honestly had no way of knowing whether or not she was at home.)
So I started walking home. All the while, I was calling The Wife, hoping she might come home, hear the phone and come pick me up. Of course, my phone started acting up. I kept getting “Call Failed” messages, which is the last thing I needed.
Eventually, The Wife called. At this point, I was about a mile from home. I told her not to bother picking me up. By the time she got the kids in the car and picked me up, I’d practically be home. Besides, then we would have had to figure out a way to get my bike in her car. So I just hoofed it all the way home. 3.5 miles in about 1.5 hours with a bike in tow. And in my work shoes, no less. Yeah, I was pretty tired when I finally got home.
I was expecting to be angry too. In fact, when I first started walking, I was quite pissed at The Wife. How dare she not be home to answer the phone? Didn’t she KNOW I had a flat tire? But as I walked, I became more serene about the whole thing. You know, sometimes shit happens. And getting all upset about it doesn’t fix the problem. Besides, the only bad thing was that I had to walk a few miles home. The weather was nice and I needed the workout, so it wasn’t all that terrible.
Oh by the way, it turns out that The Wife WAS at home and just didn’t hear the phone. I knew The Wife had a hearing problem when I married her. When we’re at home, I’m constantly pointing out to her that the phone is ringing. (God forbid I should actually answer the phone myself.) So instead of getting angry about the situation, I’m going to come up with a solution so that this never happens again. I’m going to take the phone and shove it right up The Wife’s ass.
Kidding! Actually, it looks like we’re going to have to get some phones with louder ringers. And probably get more of them, so she can hear them no matter which room she’s in. Of course, the side effect of this will be scaring the shit out of me every time the phone rings. But if it means I won’t be walking home from the train again, it’s definitely worth it.
My ride home is about 5 miles. About 1.5 miles into it, I rode over a nail and popped my rear tire. I’d never actually popped a tire like that. I tend to ride over things and get slow leaks. This time, my tire went flat IMMEDIATELY. So now I’m 3.5 miles from home, it’s 6:00, and I’m hungry. (I’ve also got half a pack of smokes, it’s dark and I’m wearing sunglasses. But that’s besides the point.)
Naturally, I can think of only one thing to do, call The Wife. The problem is that there’s no answer at home. So I leave a message telling her that it’s an emergency and to call me. (By the way, if you want to give your wife a heart attack, leave her a voicemail saying that there’s an emergency, but don’t tell her what it is. Lots of fun for everyone!)
There are a few problems with leaving The Wife a message. First is that she has a hearing problem. So, it’s quite possible she was at home and just didn’t hear the phone. Plus, she’s chasing two kids around and might not have been physically able to get to the phone. Also, our answering machine is in our office, so it’s not always apparent that we even HAVE a message. And finally, The Wife lost her cell phone, so I had no way of getting in touch with her if she was at a park with the kids. (By the way, to make matters worse, my internet at work wasn’t working. The Wife and I usually do most of our daytime communication via email. So if she’s going to take Luke and Courtney to a park in the afternoon, she’ll usually tell me via email. So I honestly had no way of knowing whether or not she was at home.)
So I started walking home. All the while, I was calling The Wife, hoping she might come home, hear the phone and come pick me up. Of course, my phone started acting up. I kept getting “Call Failed” messages, which is the last thing I needed.
Eventually, The Wife called. At this point, I was about a mile from home. I told her not to bother picking me up. By the time she got the kids in the car and picked me up, I’d practically be home. Besides, then we would have had to figure out a way to get my bike in her car. So I just hoofed it all the way home. 3.5 miles in about 1.5 hours with a bike in tow. And in my work shoes, no less. Yeah, I was pretty tired when I finally got home.
I was expecting to be angry too. In fact, when I first started walking, I was quite pissed at The Wife. How dare she not be home to answer the phone? Didn’t she KNOW I had a flat tire? But as I walked, I became more serene about the whole thing. You know, sometimes shit happens. And getting all upset about it doesn’t fix the problem. Besides, the only bad thing was that I had to walk a few miles home. The weather was nice and I needed the workout, so it wasn’t all that terrible.
Oh by the way, it turns out that The Wife WAS at home and just didn’t hear the phone. I knew The Wife had a hearing problem when I married her. When we’re at home, I’m constantly pointing out to her that the phone is ringing. (God forbid I should actually answer the phone myself.) So instead of getting angry about the situation, I’m going to come up with a solution so that this never happens again. I’m going to take the phone and shove it right up The Wife’s ass.
Kidding! Actually, it looks like we’re going to have to get some phones with louder ringers. And probably get more of them, so she can hear them no matter which room she’s in. Of course, the side effect of this will be scaring the shit out of me every time the phone rings. But if it means I won’t be walking home from the train again, it’s definitely worth it.
Monday, May 07, 2007
Welcome To the Company
We recently had our quarterly office meeting. It’s basically a review of how we’re doing financially and what we have to look forward to for the rest of the year. One of the things they do is introduce new hires. Since the beginning of the year, we’ve hired 23 new people! Given that we only had about 200 people before that, it’s really quite a lot.
Our office leader asked all the new hires to stand up and introduce themselves. The first person to introduce herself is an attractive woman standing in the front of the room. She was wearing a loose-necked shirt. When she stood up, she must have put whatever she was holding on her seat. So after she introduced herself and made to sit down, she had to pick up this stuff off her seat. And so she leaned over and gave the entire office a rather nice view of her cleavage. All I could think was, “What a great way to make a memorable first impression.”
Our office leader asked all the new hires to stand up and introduce themselves. The first person to introduce herself is an attractive woman standing in the front of the room. She was wearing a loose-necked shirt. When she stood up, she must have put whatever she was holding on her seat. So after she introduced herself and made to sit down, she had to pick up this stuff off her seat. And so she leaned over and gave the entire office a rather nice view of her cleavage. All I could think was, “What a great way to make a memorable first impression.”
