Friday, November 18, 2005
Chicagoland
Growing up in the Chicagoland area, it never occurred to me that the phrase "Chicagoland area" is a bit odd. Most cities have little phrases to describe the city and it's surrounding suburbs. New York is the "Tri-State Area." Boston ingeniously calls it the "Boston Metro Area." Detroit is "Dante's Inferno and the Nine Suburbs of Hell."
Loosely defined, the Chicagoland area is bounded by Green Bay to the north, Iowa to the west, Champaign-Urbana to the south, and South Bend (Indiana) to the east. It's about the same size as the state of Connecticut.
One thing that perplexes me is why the phrase is "Chicagoland." It seems as though they snuck an extra syllable in there and hoped that nobody would notice. After some investigating, I discovered that people in the 1900's frequently got the Windy City confused with the actual wind that blows through Chicago.
In 1928, Chicago officially decided it would have two names. The first was Chicagoland and the second was Chicagoair. It didn't take long for non-Chicagolandians to think Chicagolandians were nuts. So, to distance themselves from the nuts, the "land" was officially dropped from the name of Chicago, but it has enjoyed continuous use among the locals. (Chicagoair, by the way, was slaughtered in the St. Valentine's Day Massacre and hasn't been used since.)
Loosely defined, the Chicagoland area is bounded by Green Bay to the north, Iowa to the west, Champaign-Urbana to the south, and South Bend (Indiana) to the east. It's about the same size as the state of Connecticut.
One thing that perplexes me is why the phrase is "Chicagoland." It seems as though they snuck an extra syllable in there and hoped that nobody would notice. After some investigating, I discovered that people in the 1900's frequently got the Windy City confused with the actual wind that blows through Chicago.
In 1928, Chicago officially decided it would have two names. The first was Chicagoland and the second was Chicagoair. It didn't take long for non-Chicagolandians to think Chicagolandians were nuts. So, to distance themselves from the nuts, the "land" was officially dropped from the name of Chicago, but it has enjoyed continuous use among the locals. (Chicagoair, by the way, was slaughtered in the St. Valentine's Day Massacre and hasn't been used since.)
Thursday, November 17, 2005
It's Getting a Bit Nipply Out
After a remarkably warm summer and fall, winter hit Chicago today with all the subtlety of a kick in the ass. I grew up in the Chicagoland area. (More on that tomorrow.) I'm used to the weather. I understand that it's hot and humid in the summer. I understand that it's wicked cold and windy in the winter.
There are only a few things you can do about the weather. You accept it (and enjoy Chicago), you can reject it (and move elsewhere), or you can do what I do: complain. After all, if there's one thing that people love to hear (after someone discussing their fantasy football team ad nauseum), it's someone complain about the weather.
I tried to enjoy Chicago. I'd say things like, "if it weren't for winter, you wouldn't enjoy the other seasons as much." Yeah, because there are millions of people complaining about the non-stop gorgeous weather in Hawaii.
I tried moving, but I didn't think the plan out. I went from Chicago to Boston. People often (okay, once or twice) ask me about the difference in weather between the two cities. My answer? In Chicago, people say "FUCK, it's cold!." People in Boston say "Fuck, it's COLD!"
So, now I'm just going to complain. My favorite complaint is that it's "not fair," as in "It was 80 degrees just a couple months ago. It's not fair that it's in the 20's today!" I like to stamp my foot for dramatic effect whenever necessary.
There are only a few things you can do about the weather. You accept it (and enjoy Chicago), you can reject it (and move elsewhere), or you can do what I do: complain. After all, if there's one thing that people love to hear (after someone discussing their fantasy football team ad nauseum), it's someone complain about the weather.
I tried to enjoy Chicago. I'd say things like, "if it weren't for winter, you wouldn't enjoy the other seasons as much." Yeah, because there are millions of people complaining about the non-stop gorgeous weather in Hawaii.
I tried moving, but I didn't think the plan out. I went from Chicago to Boston. People often (okay, once or twice) ask me about the difference in weather between the two cities. My answer? In Chicago, people say "FUCK, it's cold!." People in Boston say "Fuck, it's COLD!"
So, now I'm just going to complain. My favorite complaint is that it's "not fair," as in "It was 80 degrees just a couple months ago. It's not fair that it's in the 20's today!" I like to stamp my foot for dramatic effect whenever necessary.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
The Dow Is Up (and Running)
Well, I finally did it. I created my very own blog. People often tell me that I'm not vocal enough and I needed a way to express myself more. I tried standing on sidewalks, shouting at people. The problem with that method is that it's hard to build an audience for more than 2 seconds.
I tried to lure people in by talking about God and how he's going to save your soul (but only if you repent NOW!!!). That just made people point and stare at me. Well, more so than usual, anyway.
Later, I was arrested for offering people candy. Okay, so it was mostly kids I offered the candy to. And the candy just happened to be in the back of my windowless van. But with my communication skills, I have to aim at the young, simple minds of children.
When I got out of jail, someone told me about this newfangled form of communication on the "internet." It's called a "weblog" or "blog" for short. The best part about a "blog?" I can use use "quotes" as often as I "want" without having to make the dorky "air quote" hand gesture.
The point of my blog is to not have a point. My wife disagrees with this philosophy completely. But then again, if she agreed with me about anything, she wouldn't be my wife. She believes that if people are going to take time to read what you have to say, you should really have SOMETHING to say. Meanwhile, I know that people are just wasting time at work or school. They don't want to learn anything. They want to be entertained. Since I probably won't write anything entertaining, I'll try to post some links to some wonderfully entertaining websites you can check out after you read my blog.
Thanks for sticking with me through this first blog. I hope you enjoy my postings and that you come back frequently. Or at the very least, that you lie to me and tell me that you do.
I tried to lure people in by talking about God and how he's going to save your soul (but only if you repent NOW!!!). That just made people point and stare at me. Well, more so than usual, anyway.
Later, I was arrested for offering people candy. Okay, so it was mostly kids I offered the candy to. And the candy just happened to be in the back of my windowless van. But with my communication skills, I have to aim at the young, simple minds of children.
When I got out of jail, someone told me about this newfangled form of communication on the "internet." It's called a "weblog" or "blog" for short. The best part about a "blog?" I can use use "quotes" as often as I "want" without having to make the dorky "air quote" hand gesture.
The point of my blog is to not have a point. My wife disagrees with this philosophy completely. But then again, if she agreed with me about anything, she wouldn't be my wife. She believes that if people are going to take time to read what you have to say, you should really have SOMETHING to say. Meanwhile, I know that people are just wasting time at work or school. They don't want to learn anything. They want to be entertained. Since I probably won't write anything entertaining, I'll try to post some links to some wonderfully entertaining websites you can check out after you read my blog.
Thanks for sticking with me through this first blog. I hope you enjoy my postings and that you come back frequently. Or at the very least, that you lie to me and tell me that you do.
