Monday, June 05, 2006
X-Men III: The Last Stand
Yesterday, The Wife and I took advantage of the beautiful weather and decided to go see a movie, X-Men III: The Last Stand. It was a pretty good movie, but it really paled in comparison to the other two. What's really annoying, though, is that's exactly what I read going into the movie. Most of the time, I completely dismiss the critics. "They're all just old farts who don't know anything," I tell myself. And that's when I realized, on my 31st birthday, that I too am an old fart who doesn't know anything. And that's why I wasn't a big fan of X-Men III.
The basic premise of the movie is that they've developed a cure for mutants that will turn them back into humans. It's a cool idea that brings up all sort of moral and ethical issues. Which X-Men III mostly glosses over. Instead, this movie focuses the moral and ethical issues of special effects. Like can a movie possibly have too many special effects? And do we really need to see Dr. Frasier Crane covered in blue fur? (The answer to both questions is, surprisingly, yes.)
The problems I have with the movie are that it takes things a bit too far. For example, when Magneto hears about the "mutant cure," he decides to do the most rational thing he can think of. Start a war and destroy all humans. Okay. This war ends up taking place on Alcatraz. And Magneto brings his army there by picking up the Golden Gate Bridge and plopping it onto Alcatraz so his army can have easy access to it from the mainland. Hey, Magneto, how about using a couple of boats instead? It should be a lot easier on you. It might not show up as well on screen, of course. But that brings me to my next problem.
One of the stars of the movie is Famke Janssen, who plays Jean Gray. In X-2, Jean Gray supposedly dies, but she comes back to life as The Phoenix. Which, if you read the comics, is a really great story about how powerful she is and how she literally destroys whole planets. And X-3 focuses on the issue of her power. No problem there. The problem? When Jean gets all powerful, they make her INCREDIBLY ugly. What the hell are they doing that for? Famke is quite hot. And they're focusing almost the entire movie on her and then making her hideously ugly? That's just plain insane. And for that reason alone, I downgrade X-Men III to 2 stars.
The basic premise of the movie is that they've developed a cure for mutants that will turn them back into humans. It's a cool idea that brings up all sort of moral and ethical issues. Which X-Men III mostly glosses over. Instead, this movie focuses the moral and ethical issues of special effects. Like can a movie possibly have too many special effects? And do we really need to see Dr. Frasier Crane covered in blue fur? (The answer to both questions is, surprisingly, yes.)
The problems I have with the movie are that it takes things a bit too far. For example, when Magneto hears about the "mutant cure," he decides to do the most rational thing he can think of. Start a war and destroy all humans. Okay. This war ends up taking place on Alcatraz. And Magneto brings his army there by picking up the Golden Gate Bridge and plopping it onto Alcatraz so his army can have easy access to it from the mainland. Hey, Magneto, how about using a couple of boats instead? It should be a lot easier on you. It might not show up as well on screen, of course. But that brings me to my next problem.
One of the stars of the movie is Famke Janssen, who plays Jean Gray. In X-2, Jean Gray supposedly dies, but she comes back to life as The Phoenix. Which, if you read the comics, is a really great story about how powerful she is and how she literally destroys whole planets. And X-3 focuses on the issue of her power. No problem there. The problem? When Jean gets all powerful, they make her INCREDIBLY ugly. What the hell are they doing that for? Famke is quite hot. And they're focusing almost the entire movie on her and then making her hideously ugly? That's just plain insane. And for that reason alone, I downgrade X-Men III to 2 stars.
