Friday, February 23, 2007

 

Go Askew Yourself!

This season of Survivor has been rather dull and boring. Last night, they voted out a woman I hated from the very beginning of the show. She’s a 40-ish asian architect. And when all the contestants got to the island, they started building a shelter out of the nice supplies they were given. Being an architect, the asian lady started directing people.

One of the guys working on the project is clearly not a smart guy. She told him that one of the 2x4’s he put up was askew. He told her he didn’t know what the word “askew” meant and asked for clarification. Her response: “It means not orthogonal.” Duh. I’m surprised she lasted this long, to be honest.

 

Hot or Not

This week’s episode of 24 was a decent one. It featured a lot of Jack’s sister-in-law, who might be his former lover. Either way, she’s played by Rena Sofer, and I can’t for the life of me figure out whether she’s hot or not. (Check out her page on IMDB.com if you want to play along at home.)

Now, I’m fully willing to admit that if I ever saw this woman in person, my head would probably explode, leaving me a wimpering puddle of former-man on the floor. But I’m not going to meet her in person (thanks to that stupid court order). So I’m left to ponder her attractiveness relative to every other woman on TV.

Here’s the thing about Rena Sofer. Clearly, at one point, she was an extremely attractive woman. She’s got these piercing gray/blue eyes that are hard to look away from. I imagine that if there were really a Medusa, this is what her eyes would look like. I think that when she was portrayed in Clash of the Titans, she had blank white eyes. By the way, was anyone else afraid to look at her while watching that movie as a kid? Yeah, me neither. Anywho.

The problem with Ms. Sofer is that she’s aging. (Isn’t that all of our problems?) As such, she’s getting a bit “jowly.” And so this is forcing to constantly re-examine her. It’s become quite a distraction from the show. I think I’d be a lot happier if she looked like either Chloe (not attractive) or Nadia (clearly attractive). Instead, I’m left wondering. Me no likey!

Anyway, in other 24 news, it turns out that Jack’s father is evil. And only Jack can stop him! Of course, Jack screws the pooch and his father escapes. But he looks like a big man in his sister-in-law’s eyes because he managed to free her son from the clutches of Jack’s evil father. Having a hard time following that? Don’t worry, because it really didn’t do much to advance the plot along.

It did re-introduce us to last season’s President, though. The nice part about it is that Jack’s father didn’t die. Usually, I like it when people die. Call me a misanthrope. But Jack’s father (played by James Cromwell) is actually a good actor. So I want him to stick around. And I’m guessing he’ll be showing up in the not-too-distant future.

And now we’re going back to President Logan. After being involved in President Palmer’s assassination (I forget all the details, but they won’t matter), he seems to be under some sort of Grizzly Adams House Arrest. You’d think this man would have gone to prison or something. Instead, it looks like he’s in a hunting cabin in the North Woods. And he’s even grown a weird beard to fit in. I’m thinking they’re trying to make him a bit like Al Gore. Next thing you know, President Logan will be coming out with a crappy documentary about global warming and espousing the virtues of electric cars. Yeah, you’re right. That’s a little too unrealistic for TV, even on a show like 24.

 

I Did It!

After two long months, I managed to break the 190 pound barrier. I don’t remember when I last crossed that barrier, but I’m guessing it was around the time I got married.

When I first met The Wife, I was in the best shape I’d been in since high school. I was working out 6 days a week and managed to get down to 170 pounds. Of course, we all know why I was working out. I was trying to get some action. Then I got some consistent action and the need to workout died. (When they say that a little part of you dies when you get in a committed relationship, they aren’t kidding. It’s the part of you that wants to look good in public.)

Since I met The Wife, my motivation to workout has been hovering around zero. The only time I got remotely interested was when I was getting fat enough that I had to increase my pant size. So I’d work out for a few weeks and decide, “Screw it. I need new pants anyway.” Well now that I’m training for a triathlon, I’m being forced to lose weight due to my training. And that’s a good thing. (Or so my doctor keeps telling me.)

The only problem with losing weight is that it’s slowly driving The Wife insane. And I can’t say that I blame her. You see, The Wife is pregnant. (What, you haven’t heard?) So for the last 9 months, she’s been slowly gaining weight. It’s not her fault. That’s what happens when you’re pregnant. But it has to be mildly frustrating to hear that your co-habitant is losing weight while you’re uncontrollably gaining it. I think it’s kind of like being the sparring partner for an up-and-coming boxer. He keeps on getting better and beating up on more people. So you’re happy for him. But as he gets better, he keeps beating you up more and more.

Anyway, now I have a few new goals. I want to be down to 185 by my brother-in-law’s wedding in April. Then 180 by my birthday. (It’s not until June, so you have plenty of time to buy presents.) And finally, I want to be 170 by the triathlon. I think it’s entirely doable. As long as I can find a few hours a day to tear away from The Wife, a 2-year-old and a newborn baby. Honestly, I don’t think it’ll be a problem. (Mostly because I’m expecting The Wife to kick me out of the house sometime in May.)

Monday, February 19, 2007

 

Catching Up

This weekend, I was supposed to take Luke to Wisconsin for a weekend of male bonding. I don’t know how much bonding can be done with a 2-year-old, but I was going to give it a shot. Mostly, I was hoping to give The Wife one last weekend alone before the baby came. Alas, my plans were foiled. My truck’s transmission decided that it didn’t want to go on living any more. And so now the BFT is laid up in a repair shop for about a week.

There are many aggravating things about having no truck. One, of course, is that it’s going to cost me about $1500 to repair the thing (I hope). One nice side effect is that I won’t have to pay $1.50 at the train station to park it every day. So, maybe it’ll only cost about $1495 or so. Sweet. That savings, though, is offset by the need to have The Wife drive me to the train every morning. I feel pretty bad making a 9-month pregnant woman wake up and drive me. I feel worse when I have to convince a 2-year-old child to get in a cold car right after he wakes up. Especially since he prefers riding in Daddy’s Truck. That’s all he wanted this morning. Fortunately, when he saw that Daddy’s Truck wasn’t in the driveway, he was amenable to getting into Mommy’s Car.

The really aggravating thing to me, though, is that I was just getting into a rhythm with working out. Every morning, I’d wake up at 5:00, get ready and head to the gym. I’d work out for half an hour or so and then head to the train station and catch the 7:05 train. I’d then fall asleep at 7:10 and wake up as the train was pulling into the station 45 minutes later. Perfect.

Since I started this schedule, I’ve lost about 8 pounds and 1+ pant sizes. Right before Christmas, I decided that the 34s weren’t working anymore. Just a bit too tight. So I went up to 36s, which were awesomely roomy. But now I’m back to my 34s and they’re just a bit too big. The 33s are probably a pinch too small at this point, unless I’m going to a dance club in the 1980s. Conveniently, my pants are acid washed already, so I’d fit right in.

My point is that my new workout routine was actually working for me. And now I’m going to break it. Which means those 36s are going to have to come out again. In theory, I could wake up early and use the elliptical machine or even go for a run. In reality, I’ll come up with a million excuses not to. So I’m really hoping they fix my truck today or tomorrow. That way I won’t get too much out of my routine.

One nice thing about having no truck this weekend was that I was able to get caught up on a few of my TV shows. I watched Lost the other night, and I thought it was one of the best episodes of the show I’d seen in a very long time. On most episodes of Lost, they introduce a mystery. Then they spend about a season or so trying to figure it out while they give you half-assed answers that don’t help at all. This time, they just gave you the answer.

The whole episode centers around Desmond, who seems to be able to see the future. He keeps seeing bad things happen to Claire. For some reason, he feels the need to save her. Personally, I think she should be killed. I thought she was hot at the beginning of the show with her Australian accent and everything. But lately, she’s just a pill. But Desmond keeps protecting her. Jerk. Anyway, Charlie asks Desmond what’s going on and Desmond won’t tell. That’s how all the other episodes go. But then they do a flashback and they reveal just what happened to Desmond in the Hatch last season. It was jarring for it’s, um, upfrontery. (Screw you, spellcheck. It’s a word.)

I won’t go into all the details about the show, but Desmond finally revealed that he could see the future, as if he’s already lived it. Kind of like déjà vu. And that’s when he tells Charlie that he’s not trying to save Claire (phew!). He’s trying to save Charlie. And frankly, he should just stop. Charlie’s getting annoying too. Anyway, it turns out that Charlie would have been struck by lightning (alongside Claire) and that when Claire was drowning, Charlie went in to save her and drowned himself. But according to Desmond, the universe has a way of cause-correcting, meaning it’ll find a way to kill Charlie. Which is just great. Adds a bit of tension to the show.

I also got caught up on Survivor. This is another ho-hum season, but I feel compelled to watch because one of the contestants is practically a next-door neighbor. Mookie (an asian dude) grew up in Wheeling. He also went to U of I (as did I). Not only that, but he also studied actuarial science! We’re practically twins! The only problem is that I find Mookie really annoying so far. And he’s only had about 3 lines of dialogue in the last two episodes. So, part of me is cheering for him because he’s my blind man’s doppelganger. But part of me just wants him to get voted off so I can stop watching the show.

CSI is continuing to wear on me. I just don’t get it anymore. They’ve been dragging this whole Miniature Killer thing on WAY too long. This after killing off a new character after 3 episodes. Huh? In case you aren’t following CSI (and I can’t blame you if you aren’t), they kept finding these miniature replicas of murder scenes. They finally found the guy who did them and he killed himself. Well, another miniature replica showed up. Only this time, the murder hadn’t happened yet. Blah, blah, blah. Apparently, this guy had foster kids and one of them must have done it. The Wife thinks it’s this guy Hodges, who works in the lab (and also used to be on The Larry Sanders Show). I tried to argue with her and think of someone else it might be. Then I realized that I just don’t CARE who it is. I don’t know why I watch this show.

One show I do enjoy watching is House. Last week’s episode was another fantastic one. I’ve realized that what makes it consistently fantastic is the dialogue. It’s incredibly witty, which you don’t realize unless you watch it right after watching an episode of (dramatic pause) CSI (cue Who music). Ugh. It’s such a joy to see characters that are well fleshed out. Not only that, but they have complex issues. And they KNOW they have complex issues and they address them. And the best part? They don’t feel the need to explain things to the audience like CSI does. “You see, Grissom, blood is necessary for people to live. It carries oxygen to the brain. This guy died because he lost too much blood. I guess he finally found something (dramatic pause) that he didn’t let go to his head.” God, I hate that show.

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