Monday, July 31, 2006
Multiplication
Awhile ago I wrote about my co-worker, Wang, who has a habit of (a) stealing pens from my desk or (b) chewing on pens and leaving them at my desk. When I discovered he’d chewed a pen and left it on my desk, I decided to leave it out in hopes that he would eventually steal said pen, thus making us both happy.
Would you believe that it’s been over a month and he still hasn’t taken this pen from my desk? Worse yet, the pen has started multiplying. There are now FIVE pens of dubious nature that are sitting on the edge of my desk, awaiting Wang’s theft. Not all of them are mine either. Wang has started leaving pens at my desk. But since they’re his, and he has a bad (and disgusting habit) of chewing on them, I won’t go near them.
This evidence suggests that Wang has stopped stealing pens from my desk, right? WRONG! Wang continues to steal pens at an alarming rate. So much so that I’m starting to think that Wang is doing this on purpose just to annoy me. I hope that’s why he’s doing it. Because if it’s not on purpose, he has some serious problems.
Would you believe that it’s been over a month and he still hasn’t taken this pen from my desk? Worse yet, the pen has started multiplying. There are now FIVE pens of dubious nature that are sitting on the edge of my desk, awaiting Wang’s theft. Not all of them are mine either. Wang has started leaving pens at my desk. But since they’re his, and he has a bad (and disgusting habit) of chewing on them, I won’t go near them.
This evidence suggests that Wang has stopped stealing pens from my desk, right? WRONG! Wang continues to steal pens at an alarming rate. So much so that I’m starting to think that Wang is doing this on purpose just to annoy me. I hope that’s why he’s doing it. Because if it’s not on purpose, he has some serious problems.
Two Truths and a Lie
Good morning, good morning, it’s time to say good morning. My lord, has my life been hectic lately. I’ve been working a lot and playing a lot of video games. So it’s been hard to come up with anything moderately entertaining to write on this blog. So I’ve written nothing. That’s a sure-fire way to increase my hit count. There’s a reason I got my MBA in marketing. Oh wait. I got it in Finance and Accounting. Never mind.
I’ve got a lot to write about, but I don’t have much time. So, let’s start with the funniest part. My company had a corporate retreat last week. There were about 50 of us that all went up to Lake Geneva and relaxed for a couple of days. It was great for me because Lake Geneva is about an hour from my house. (Note, that’s closer than WORK is.) Plus, it’s a great chance to get to know the people I work with outside of the office.
One of the things we did to prepare for the retreat was to answer a little questionnaire about ourselves. We answered (e.g.) what kind of car we drive, what our first car was, what we’re embarrassed to admit, etc. These clues were then used to play two games. The first was a “Guess the Associate” game where clues are revealed one at a time until somebody can guess who the person is. Fortunately, I wasn’t one of the featured associates for this game since nobody would have guessed me. Not that my answers are weird. It’s just that I’ve only been working here two months and nobody knows me yet.
So imagine my surprise when my name showed up on Two Truths and a Lie. The premise of this game is just as simple as the earlier one. They show three of my “answers.” Only two of them are true. The other is (shockingly) a lie! The question is: which one is the lie. And so here are the three clues about me. See if you can guess which one is the lie.
Clue 1: If money were no object, The Dow would buy a Dairy Queen because he’s that big of a fan of Peanut Buster Parfaits.
Clue 2: The Dow is embarrassed to admit that he has both Debbie Gibson and Milli Vanilli on his iPod.
Clue 3: Almost nobody at the office knows that The Dow went on one internet date – and ended up marrying her.
What was funny about this was that there was a woman behind me giving a play-by-play. She thought Clue 3 was a lie. WRONG. That’s exactly how I met The Wife. In fact, she was only the second entry I ever saw on Yahoo! Personals.
Somebody else thought Clue 2 was the lie. WRONG. Yes, I have every song in the Billboard 100 from 1980 through 2005 on my iPod. I’m a little obsessive about it. Although, as the guy next to me pointed out, I’m not really embarrassed that I have these artists on my iPod. But that wasn’t the question. The question was about what I was embarrassed to ADMIT I have on my iPod. And that certainly qualifies.
And so the correct fake clue was Clue 1. I originally put down that I would buy a Harley if money were no object. I wasn’t feeling very creative at the time. In fact, if the person would have changed Clue 1 to say that I did it because I like Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Blizzards, that would have been true. Damn, I love those things.
I’ve got a lot to write about, but I don’t have much time. So, let’s start with the funniest part. My company had a corporate retreat last week. There were about 50 of us that all went up to Lake Geneva and relaxed for a couple of days. It was great for me because Lake Geneva is about an hour from my house. (Note, that’s closer than WORK is.) Plus, it’s a great chance to get to know the people I work with outside of the office.
One of the things we did to prepare for the retreat was to answer a little questionnaire about ourselves. We answered (e.g.) what kind of car we drive, what our first car was, what we’re embarrassed to admit, etc. These clues were then used to play two games. The first was a “Guess the Associate” game where clues are revealed one at a time until somebody can guess who the person is. Fortunately, I wasn’t one of the featured associates for this game since nobody would have guessed me. Not that my answers are weird. It’s just that I’ve only been working here two months and nobody knows me yet.
So imagine my surprise when my name showed up on Two Truths and a Lie. The premise of this game is just as simple as the earlier one. They show three of my “answers.” Only two of them are true. The other is (shockingly) a lie! The question is: which one is the lie. And so here are the three clues about me. See if you can guess which one is the lie.
Clue 1: If money were no object, The Dow would buy a Dairy Queen because he’s that big of a fan of Peanut Buster Parfaits.
Clue 2: The Dow is embarrassed to admit that he has both Debbie Gibson and Milli Vanilli on his iPod.
Clue 3: Almost nobody at the office knows that The Dow went on one internet date – and ended up marrying her.
What was funny about this was that there was a woman behind me giving a play-by-play. She thought Clue 3 was a lie. WRONG. That’s exactly how I met The Wife. In fact, she was only the second entry I ever saw on Yahoo! Personals.
Somebody else thought Clue 2 was the lie. WRONG. Yes, I have every song in the Billboard 100 from 1980 through 2005 on my iPod. I’m a little obsessive about it. Although, as the guy next to me pointed out, I’m not really embarrassed that I have these artists on my iPod. But that wasn’t the question. The question was about what I was embarrassed to ADMIT I have on my iPod. And that certainly qualifies.
And so the correct fake clue was Clue 1. I originally put down that I would buy a Harley if money were no object. I wasn’t feeling very creative at the time. In fact, if the person would have changed Clue 1 to say that I did it because I like Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Blizzards, that would have been true. Damn, I love those things.
