Thursday, July 06, 2006
Back to the Grind
It’s now my second day back at work following my long 4-day weekend. I’m not happy about it. In fact, I kind of feel like crawling under my desk and taking a nap, a la George Costanza. For some reason, I’ve been really tired the last couple of days. It might have something to do with how exhausting my weekend was. You see, the basic plan was to head to my family’s Wisconsin cabin (which I’ll call “The Ponderosa,” which is the source of my actual nickname for the place, which is a play on my last name, which I’m keeping hidden from my 3 readers who already know what it is anyway, which is another reason to say that I’m paranoid, which has nothing to do with why I like to write run-on sentences with a ton of “which’s” in them). Where was I? Ah yes, the basic plan was to head to the Ponderosa to enjoy a little “family time.” Naturally, that got complicated and we ended up running around the whole time. See if you can follow along.
Friday Night
Usually, The Wife and I like to leave for the Ponderosa on Friday nights around Luke’s bedtime. That way, he can fall asleep in the car and not bother us. Besides, by 7:00 or 8:00, traffic has died down quite a bit, so we can actually get up to the Ponderosa in about 2.5 hours. Not too shabby.
This week was a little different though. You see, The Wife’s friend has this boyfriend that nobody had ever seen. No, he doesn’t live in Canada. He’s in the navy. And lives in D.C. Yeah, it’s a long story. Anyway, the point is that he was actually going to be in Chicago for the weekend. So, naturally, The Wife had to meet this guy. I generally don’t like meeting people. So I decided to head up to the Ponderosa Friday night with Luke.
Now the only problem was transportation. In case you haven’t noticed, gas has gotten a bit pricey lately. And I drive a BFT that gets about 15 miles per gallon. We try to avoid driving it whenever possible. The only thing worse than driving the BFT, though, is driving the BFT and The Wife’s car. So I came up with an ingenious plan. My sister was planning on coming up to the Ponderosa too, so I told her I’d drive her up in the BFT. And The Wife would drive up Sis’s car on Saturday after meeting Navy Guy. (Are these nicknames confusing anyone besides me? I really need to provide a reference for all this stuff somewhere.)
So with that problem ironed out, I drove up Sis and Luke Friday night. It was relatively uneventful. My mom was meeting us at the Ponderosa with my niece, Allison, who’s 4 years old. You see, my brother just had a new baby (okay, technically, my sister-in-law had it, but you get the idea). My mom was trying to help them out by taking Allison off their hands for a few days. (My brother then helped further by going to Chicago for a bachelor party and taking his 6-year-old son with him. (The child was then left with my other brother. He didn’t go to the bachelor party. He won’t be able to do that for at least 2 more years.) Personally, I think that really just helped my brother, but who am I to question a man going to a bachelor party? By the way, are you confused about who’s going where yet? Yeah, welcome to my family. We’re nuttier than, um, something really nutty. Peanut butter? Yeah, the crunchy kind!)
Saturday
Saturday was quite an ugly day at the Ponderosa. It was periodically stormy. Even worse, it was windy all day. That meant we couldn’t get the boat in the water. We finally got our boat lift in, which means we can leave the boat in the water all summer instead of having to launch it every weekend. The obvious advantage is that when we want to use the boat, we just go downstairs and use it. The only problem? We couldn’t get the boat started. Well, I finally solved that problem on Saturday (with the help of a mechanically-inclined neighbor).
Anyway, Saturday was spent cutting down some trees by the lake. My mom hates the trees because they block our view of the lake. Which makes sense. If you have a house on a lake, don’t you want to actually SEE the lake? So I set out cutting down a couple of the trees. The good thing about this is that we were running low on firewood. Not anymore.
Joining us on Saturday were Isabel (age 6) and her grandparents, who are family friends going back 40+ years. (I’ll spare you the details of that relationship. I could probably go on for hours and bore you even more than usual.) It was fun to play with Isabel and Allison all day on Saturday, but they were both quite upset that the weather wouldn’t allow a campfire that night. Not that they wanted a campfire, per se. They really just wanted s’mores. And campfires are helpful in that regard.
Sunday
The weather on Sunday was gorgeous, so put the boat in the water. I managed to get it started rather easily (which is harder than it sounds). We took Isabel and Allison for a ride down to a park and told them we’d get them ice cream. That turned out to be a bad idea because the park we went to (which I haven’t been to in years) doesn’t sell ice cream. When you tell a 4-year-old and a 6-year-old that they’re going to get ice cream and then you don’t give them ice cream, you get two rather angry children on your hands. Fortunately for me, those two children wouldn’t be my problem for much longer.
As it turns out, we weren’t the only ones who thought spending the long weekend in Wisconsin was a good idea. My good friends, Scott and Cathy, were hosting people at Cathy’s family’s cabin, which is about 2.5 hours from the Ponderosa. So The Wife, Sis, and I decided to pile into Sis’s Saturn and drive up there for the night. It wasn’t easy getting everything in her car, though. This might have something to do with us packing like morons. But we were also coming up with 2 tents, a couple sleeping bags, pillows, air mattresses and so forth. (Yes, we left my mom and her two friends with 3 children age 6 and under. We’re evil.)
Saturday night was a lot of fun because several of my friends decided to make the long trek for the weekend. Now that I have a child and live in the suburbs, I don’t quite get out as much as I did a couple years ago. I feel like I fell off the face of the earth. And for the most part, I have. Of course, it didn’t help that I was also in school for a couple years and had practically no social life. Anyway, it was nice catching up with everyone. By “catching up,” of course, I mean that I got drunk and prattled on endlessly without letting anyone get a word in edgewise. The Wife commented the next day that it seemed like I was a caged beast finally set free. Yeah, I’m a people person. (Ironically, though, I’m like Randall in Clerks. I hate people. But alcohol + friends = chatty Dow.)
Monday
We woke up relatively early on Monday and had breakfast. The weather looked rather nasty, so The Wife and I decided to pack up the tent before it started raining. Of course, the wind made that difficult. It didn’t help that we were using a 2-room tent that Sis brought up. The damn thing was huge. And I love how the tent-makers create 2 rooms. They give you a tiny piece of fabric that you can hang up. Voila! You now have 2 rooms! Genius! This is no doubt the type of thinking that Sis had when she hung curtains in the basement of the Ponderosa to create “bedrooms.” Ah, the privacy!
Since the weather was ugly, we decided to hit the road and head back to the Ponderosa. (Of course, The Wife also missed The Child, so she pushed a little harder than Sis or me.) We ended up having good timing because the weather seemed to clear up a bit once we left. On the other hand, we had bad timing because I ended up getting pulled over on the way back.
When I drive on Wisconsin’s back roads, I tend to speed quite a bit. This trip was no exception. The official speed limit is 55 and I usually go around 70 or 75. I don’t think that’s too outrageous. Well, a few people would disagree with me. Mostly they’re residents of Wisconsin who think that anything over 56 MPH is just careless. But the other people who disagree are the ones that matter most: police. I never even think about police in Wisconsin because they generally aren’t around. It’s not like I’m on the interstate. I’m on a 2-lane road that links a bunch of podunk Wisconsin towns. Well, the police were thinking about me.
They pulled me over doing 71 in a 55. I’ve been fortunate to avoid getting a ticket since 2001, but it looked like my streak was over. (I got a ticket a few months ago, but for some reason they weren’t going to put it on my record if I paid it within 2 weeks. Okay.) To my surprise, the cop let me go with a warning. Even more to my surprise, she told me that if she gave me a ticket, I’d have to come up with $180 on the spot or go to jail. Fucking Wisconsin. They’re so retarded. Why go through the hassle of sending someone to jail for $180? It can’t possibly cover the costs. Anyway, the reason the cop let me go? Because my record was clean. By that logic, my record will always be clean. I’m fine with that.
We got back to the Ponderosa in time for lunch. I worked some more on chopping down a tree and then we all took a nice ride in the boat. The weather had calmed down quite a bit, so we did some tubing too. I was way too tired to even try waterskiing though. That always ends up killing my back and my legs, which I wasn’t in the mood for. And that pretty much wrapped up my Monday.
Tuesday
Tuesday was rather uneventful too. I finished chopping up a tree and carried the wood upstairs. We packed up and left right after lunch. Luke slept very soundly the whole way home. In fact, he slept well the entire weekend. Of course, it might have something to do with him basically running nonstop all day, every day. If we could figure out a way to harness that kid’s energy, I think we could light up Las Vegas.
When we got home, The Wife and were both exhausted from the weekend. It was great to see Allison and Isabel, but they’re very demanding. And that’s without Luke hitting them and refusing to share. So once we were at home, we just vegged out completely. It was wonderful. And a perfect ending to a way-too-long weekend.
Friday Night
Usually, The Wife and I like to leave for the Ponderosa on Friday nights around Luke’s bedtime. That way, he can fall asleep in the car and not bother us. Besides, by 7:00 or 8:00, traffic has died down quite a bit, so we can actually get up to the Ponderosa in about 2.5 hours. Not too shabby.
This week was a little different though. You see, The Wife’s friend has this boyfriend that nobody had ever seen. No, he doesn’t live in Canada. He’s in the navy. And lives in D.C. Yeah, it’s a long story. Anyway, the point is that he was actually going to be in Chicago for the weekend. So, naturally, The Wife had to meet this guy. I generally don’t like meeting people. So I decided to head up to the Ponderosa Friday night with Luke.
Now the only problem was transportation. In case you haven’t noticed, gas has gotten a bit pricey lately. And I drive a BFT that gets about 15 miles per gallon. We try to avoid driving it whenever possible. The only thing worse than driving the BFT, though, is driving the BFT and The Wife’s car. So I came up with an ingenious plan. My sister was planning on coming up to the Ponderosa too, so I told her I’d drive her up in the BFT. And The Wife would drive up Sis’s car on Saturday after meeting Navy Guy. (Are these nicknames confusing anyone besides me? I really need to provide a reference for all this stuff somewhere.)
So with that problem ironed out, I drove up Sis and Luke Friday night. It was relatively uneventful. My mom was meeting us at the Ponderosa with my niece, Allison, who’s 4 years old. You see, my brother just had a new baby (okay, technically, my sister-in-law had it, but you get the idea). My mom was trying to help them out by taking Allison off their hands for a few days. (My brother then helped further by going to Chicago for a bachelor party and taking his 6-year-old son with him. (The child was then left with my other brother. He didn’t go to the bachelor party. He won’t be able to do that for at least 2 more years.) Personally, I think that really just helped my brother, but who am I to question a man going to a bachelor party? By the way, are you confused about who’s going where yet? Yeah, welcome to my family. We’re nuttier than, um, something really nutty. Peanut butter? Yeah, the crunchy kind!)
Saturday
Saturday was quite an ugly day at the Ponderosa. It was periodically stormy. Even worse, it was windy all day. That meant we couldn’t get the boat in the water. We finally got our boat lift in, which means we can leave the boat in the water all summer instead of having to launch it every weekend. The obvious advantage is that when we want to use the boat, we just go downstairs and use it. The only problem? We couldn’t get the boat started. Well, I finally solved that problem on Saturday (with the help of a mechanically-inclined neighbor).
Anyway, Saturday was spent cutting down some trees by the lake. My mom hates the trees because they block our view of the lake. Which makes sense. If you have a house on a lake, don’t you want to actually SEE the lake? So I set out cutting down a couple of the trees. The good thing about this is that we were running low on firewood. Not anymore.
Joining us on Saturday were Isabel (age 6) and her grandparents, who are family friends going back 40+ years. (I’ll spare you the details of that relationship. I could probably go on for hours and bore you even more than usual.) It was fun to play with Isabel and Allison all day on Saturday, but they were both quite upset that the weather wouldn’t allow a campfire that night. Not that they wanted a campfire, per se. They really just wanted s’mores. And campfires are helpful in that regard.
Sunday
The weather on Sunday was gorgeous, so put the boat in the water. I managed to get it started rather easily (which is harder than it sounds). We took Isabel and Allison for a ride down to a park and told them we’d get them ice cream. That turned out to be a bad idea because the park we went to (which I haven’t been to in years) doesn’t sell ice cream. When you tell a 4-year-old and a 6-year-old that they’re going to get ice cream and then you don’t give them ice cream, you get two rather angry children on your hands. Fortunately for me, those two children wouldn’t be my problem for much longer.
As it turns out, we weren’t the only ones who thought spending the long weekend in Wisconsin was a good idea. My good friends, Scott and Cathy, were hosting people at Cathy’s family’s cabin, which is about 2.5 hours from the Ponderosa. So The Wife, Sis, and I decided to pile into Sis’s Saturn and drive up there for the night. It wasn’t easy getting everything in her car, though. This might have something to do with us packing like morons. But we were also coming up with 2 tents, a couple sleeping bags, pillows, air mattresses and so forth. (Yes, we left my mom and her two friends with 3 children age 6 and under. We’re evil.)
Saturday night was a lot of fun because several of my friends decided to make the long trek for the weekend. Now that I have a child and live in the suburbs, I don’t quite get out as much as I did a couple years ago. I feel like I fell off the face of the earth. And for the most part, I have. Of course, it didn’t help that I was also in school for a couple years and had practically no social life. Anyway, it was nice catching up with everyone. By “catching up,” of course, I mean that I got drunk and prattled on endlessly without letting anyone get a word in edgewise. The Wife commented the next day that it seemed like I was a caged beast finally set free. Yeah, I’m a people person. (Ironically, though, I’m like Randall in Clerks. I hate people. But alcohol + friends = chatty Dow.)
Monday
We woke up relatively early on Monday and had breakfast. The weather looked rather nasty, so The Wife and I decided to pack up the tent before it started raining. Of course, the wind made that difficult. It didn’t help that we were using a 2-room tent that Sis brought up. The damn thing was huge. And I love how the tent-makers create 2 rooms. They give you a tiny piece of fabric that you can hang up. Voila! You now have 2 rooms! Genius! This is no doubt the type of thinking that Sis had when she hung curtains in the basement of the Ponderosa to create “bedrooms.” Ah, the privacy!
Since the weather was ugly, we decided to hit the road and head back to the Ponderosa. (Of course, The Wife also missed The Child, so she pushed a little harder than Sis or me.) We ended up having good timing because the weather seemed to clear up a bit once we left. On the other hand, we had bad timing because I ended up getting pulled over on the way back.
When I drive on Wisconsin’s back roads, I tend to speed quite a bit. This trip was no exception. The official speed limit is 55 and I usually go around 70 or 75. I don’t think that’s too outrageous. Well, a few people would disagree with me. Mostly they’re residents of Wisconsin who think that anything over 56 MPH is just careless. But the other people who disagree are the ones that matter most: police. I never even think about police in Wisconsin because they generally aren’t around. It’s not like I’m on the interstate. I’m on a 2-lane road that links a bunch of podunk Wisconsin towns. Well, the police were thinking about me.
They pulled me over doing 71 in a 55. I’ve been fortunate to avoid getting a ticket since 2001, but it looked like my streak was over. (I got a ticket a few months ago, but for some reason they weren’t going to put it on my record if I paid it within 2 weeks. Okay.) To my surprise, the cop let me go with a warning. Even more to my surprise, she told me that if she gave me a ticket, I’d have to come up with $180 on the spot or go to jail. Fucking Wisconsin. They’re so retarded. Why go through the hassle of sending someone to jail for $180? It can’t possibly cover the costs. Anyway, the reason the cop let me go? Because my record was clean. By that logic, my record will always be clean. I’m fine with that.
We got back to the Ponderosa in time for lunch. I worked some more on chopping down a tree and then we all took a nice ride in the boat. The weather had calmed down quite a bit, so we did some tubing too. I was way too tired to even try waterskiing though. That always ends up killing my back and my legs, which I wasn’t in the mood for. And that pretty much wrapped up my Monday.
Tuesday
Tuesday was rather uneventful too. I finished chopping up a tree and carried the wood upstairs. We packed up and left right after lunch. Luke slept very soundly the whole way home. In fact, he slept well the entire weekend. Of course, it might have something to do with him basically running nonstop all day, every day. If we could figure out a way to harness that kid’s energy, I think we could light up Las Vegas.
When we got home, The Wife and were both exhausted from the weekend. It was great to see Allison and Isabel, but they’re very demanding. And that’s without Luke hitting them and refusing to share. So once we were at home, we just vegged out completely. It was wonderful. And a perfect ending to a way-too-long weekend.
Flogging Molly
I just discovered Flogging Molly, which is a punkish Irish pub band. What's funny is how I discovered them. I was flipping through my iPod looking for a random album I might enjoy. I saw one, Swagger, that I didn't recognize. Turns out it was Flogging Molly. Apparently, I downloaded it several months earlier and forgot about it. I really need to cut back on my downloading. It's addictive, I tells ya.
Anyway, it's great music and I thought about how fun it'd be to see them live. I checked their website and found out that they played in Milwaukee last night! Damn it! You've got to be kidding me! Talk about bad timing.
The funny part, though, is that they're playing in Norway tomorrow. I wouldn't wish that sort of travelling on anybody.
Anyway, it's great music and I thought about how fun it'd be to see them live. I checked their website and found out that they played in Milwaukee last night! Damn it! You've got to be kidding me! Talk about bad timing.
The funny part, though, is that they're playing in Norway tomorrow. I wouldn't wish that sort of travelling on anybody.
Platinum Weird
Someone asked me about the band Platinum Weird recently. Apparently, they’re getting a lot of publicity and Mick Jagger even called them “the most famous band no one's ever heard of.” Well, apparently, it’s all a marketing stunt. The band doesn’t really exist. But they’re making a documentary about them, a la Spinal Tap. Only they’re not letting the viewers in on the joke. I don’t get it. If you want to read more about the scam, read this article. Then please try to explain it to me, because I'm very confused. Not that it takes much.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Bite the Bubble
One of the unexpected reactions to my blog has been the number of people who are upset when I don’t mention them. Usually, this isn’t intentional. I’m always looking for something to write about. The problem is that I just don’t remember things very well anymore. (Further complicating matters is that I’m usually drunk when I have these “interesting” conversations that would make good blog entries.)
This weekend, my friend Cathy reminded me of a story she told me that didn’t make the blog. Well, Cathy, it’s making the blog today! I’ve forgotten many of the details, but since none of you know them either, it doesn’t matter. Basically, this kid was thrown out of his 4th grade class for being a jerk. On his way out, he told the teacher that she farts in the bathtub and bites the bubble.
I have to admit, this is incredibly creative. I admire that about children. Sure, they’re more or less mindless twits who like to repeat themselves over and over again. (That’s why I get along with them so well. We have so much in common.) But every once in awhile, they do something wonderfully creative like this.
And so, in honor of this kid, whoever he may be, I’ve decided to make “bite the bubble” one of my new favorite band names. I’ve also decided to use it as an insult more often. Someone pisses me off at work? “Go bite the bubble!” Let them figure out what it means.
In fact, I might even try to create a website called BiteTheBubble.com. I don’t know what I’d put on it yet. Maybe just creative insults. Or odd things that children say. All I know is that the Jump The Shark guy sold his website to TVGuide for millions of dollars. I think Bite The Bubble could enjoy similar success. And if I do become a multi-millionaire because of Bite The Bubble, Cathy, I promise to give you at least $1 for giving me the idea in the first place.
This weekend, my friend Cathy reminded me of a story she told me that didn’t make the blog. Well, Cathy, it’s making the blog today! I’ve forgotten many of the details, but since none of you know them either, it doesn’t matter. Basically, this kid was thrown out of his 4th grade class for being a jerk. On his way out, he told the teacher that she farts in the bathtub and bites the bubble.
I have to admit, this is incredibly creative. I admire that about children. Sure, they’re more or less mindless twits who like to repeat themselves over and over again. (That’s why I get along with them so well. We have so much in common.) But every once in awhile, they do something wonderfully creative like this.
And so, in honor of this kid, whoever he may be, I’ve decided to make “bite the bubble” one of my new favorite band names. I’ve also decided to use it as an insult more often. Someone pisses me off at work? “Go bite the bubble!” Let them figure out what it means.
In fact, I might even try to create a website called BiteTheBubble.com. I don’t know what I’d put on it yet. Maybe just creative insults. Or odd things that children say. All I know is that the Jump The Shark guy sold his website to TVGuide for millions of dollars. I think Bite The Bubble could enjoy similar success. And if I do become a multi-millionaire because of Bite The Bubble, Cathy, I promise to give you at least $1 for giving me the idea in the first place.
Relative Interest
Apparently, my Sleater-Kinney post created quite a bit of buzz. Two or three people actually read the whole thing! Imagine my surprise. That’s like double the number of people who normally read my nonsense.
Of course, it probably helped that I wrote about something moderately timely. That doesn’t frequently happen. In fact, this week I’m planning on writing about the Kennedy assassination and the Challenger explosion. I just didn’t get around to them when I was, um, unborn and 10 years old.
I really enjoyed writing the Sleater-Kinney stuff, so I’m thinking of doing ones on Husker Du, the Pixies, and Nirvana. They’re all favorite bands of mine that were major influences of each other. (Well, mostly it was linear since the bands didn’t really co-exist, with one notable exception. Stay tuned to find out what it was. I’m kidding myself if I think anyone actually cares about this.)
Of course, it probably helped that I wrote about something moderately timely. That doesn’t frequently happen. In fact, this week I’m planning on writing about the Kennedy assassination and the Challenger explosion. I just didn’t get around to them when I was, um, unborn and 10 years old.
I really enjoyed writing the Sleater-Kinney stuff, so I’m thinking of doing ones on Husker Du, the Pixies, and Nirvana. They’re all favorite bands of mine that were major influences of each other. (Well, mostly it was linear since the bands didn’t really co-exist, with one notable exception. Stay tuned to find out what it was. I’m kidding myself if I think anyone actually cares about this.)
