Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Rudeness, Stupidity, and Jerkiness Collide with Inspiration
I really need to come up with a new name for Rick. I’m going to be writing a lot about him. And the last thing I need is for him to come to my desk while I’m writing about what a jerk he is (which is today’s theme). Rick’s full first name is Richard. A great nickname for Richard is “Dick.” While fitting, it’s way too obvious. So, I’m going to start calling him by my favorite nickname for Dick, “Wang.” The added benefit is that it will constantly remind me of Caddyshack. (If you don’t know, I can’t possibly explain it.)
Anyway, Wang is a bit of a spaz. He’s also quite absent-minded. (Of course, he doesn’t have much to be absent from, so to speak.) Often, Wang will come to my desk to work on something. He never brings a pen with him. So if Wang needs to write something (which happens a lot), he’ll ask to borrow one of my pens. I grant his request against my better judgment. One of two things ends up happening.
The first possibility is that Wang ends up stealing the pen. He gets so spastic and forgetful that he just puts it in his pocket and leaves. While that’s annoying (because I have to constantly get more pens from the cabinet), it’s preferred to option two. This is where Wang chews on the pen or otherwise puts it in his mouth. And then leaves it on my desk.
Right now, I have one of those pens on my desk and I don’t know what to do with it. I should throw it away, but the conservationist in me won’t let me. It’s a brand-new pen, after all. Hasn’t been used more than 3 times. Besides, that’ll become an expensive option the more Wang does this.
I finally hit on a solution this afternoon. I’m going to leave Wang’s mouth-pen on my desk in plain sight. My goal is that the next time Wang comes to my desk in need of a pen, he’ll just take the previously-sullied pen with him. Thus my desk will be rid of his filth. Now watch, this will be the one pen that Wang doesn’t steal. But at least he won’t get his disgusting choppers on any of my other pens.
Anyway, Wang is a bit of a spaz. He’s also quite absent-minded. (Of course, he doesn’t have much to be absent from, so to speak.) Often, Wang will come to my desk to work on something. He never brings a pen with him. So if Wang needs to write something (which happens a lot), he’ll ask to borrow one of my pens. I grant his request against my better judgment. One of two things ends up happening.
The first possibility is that Wang ends up stealing the pen. He gets so spastic and forgetful that he just puts it in his pocket and leaves. While that’s annoying (because I have to constantly get more pens from the cabinet), it’s preferred to option two. This is where Wang chews on the pen or otherwise puts it in his mouth. And then leaves it on my desk.
Right now, I have one of those pens on my desk and I don’t know what to do with it. I should throw it away, but the conservationist in me won’t let me. It’s a brand-new pen, after all. Hasn’t been used more than 3 times. Besides, that’ll become an expensive option the more Wang does this.
I finally hit on a solution this afternoon. I’m going to leave Wang’s mouth-pen on my desk in plain sight. My goal is that the next time Wang comes to my desk in need of a pen, he’ll just take the previously-sullied pen with him. Thus my desk will be rid of his filth. Now watch, this will be the one pen that Wang doesn’t steal. But at least he won’t get his disgusting choppers on any of my other pens.
