Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Sleep Disorder
They say that one of the benefits of working out regularly is that you require less sleep. What they don't tell you is that while you actually sleep less, you spend a lot more time (awake) thinking, "God DAMN, I'm tired." Last night was one of those times.
It was hot last night and we had the windows open. I have a hard time sleeping with the windows open. I'm a baby, I know. I like the house COLD in the summer and HOT in the winter. You could say that I'm ComEd's poster-boy. The Wife is going through a "frugal" phase, which is to say that she's not spending money all willy-nilly like a typical American Consumer (like me, in other words). Can you imagine?
Anyway, The Wife doesn't like to turn on the air unless we absolutely need it. The problem is that the second floor of our house (where all the bedrooms are) doesn't cool down as quickly as the first floor of our house. Something about heat rising, I think. That and bad circulation. Well, I came up with an ingenious solution! I sleep downstairs! Now that we've rearranged our house a bit, we have a couch right in front of a couple windows in the living room (or is it a family room?). It's perfect for sleeping on hot nights because you always get a cool breeze.
So now that I've situated myself on the couch, I can't sleep. First, my brain won't shut off. For some reason, I'm thinking about our softball team and what we're going to do about our game that got rained out on Monday (which itself was a make-up game for a previous rainout). Then I hear a beep. Huh? A few minutes later, I hear it again. Now I'm trying to figure out if it's coming from inside or outside. Beep. Okay, that's definitely inside. But what is it? Is it going to stop or BEEP. Okay, it's definitely not going to stop. Should I turn on the lights to find it? BEEP. Grrr. Aha! It's The Wife's cell phone dying a slow (and loud) death. Alrighty, I'll just plug it in. Now how the hell does this thing work? Double grrr.
Okay, so now I'm back on the couch and it's inching closer to 10:30. (Note, I went to bed at 9:30 and was hoping to wake up at 4:45 to go to the gym for a swim.) And that's when I hear something hissing outside the window. It's probably a cat. No big deal because we have a few strays (or outside cats) in the neighborhood. But then I start thinking that maybe it's MY cat, the one that Luke let "free" a few months ago. So now I'm trying to listen to the sporadic hissing to figure out if it's in fact Simba. I look out the window and call for Simba, but get no response. Now that I think about it, even if it were Simba, what was I expecting him to do? Was he going to jump out and say, "Yes? How may I be of service tonight?"
Now we're getting closer to 10:45 and I can't stop thinking about Simba. So I turn on the TV and find an old episode of The Simpsons on the Tivo. Ah, the Lemon Tree episode, always a classic. "Why can't I find any lemons? Just a lemon-shaped rock. Hey! There's a lemon behind that rock!" So I put on the show and my brain shuts off. Sleep, sweet sleep.
At 2:00, I wake up and decide to head upstairs to sleep in bed. I figure it's my manly duty to spend at least part of the night sleeping with The Wife. Besides, by now the second floor has usually cooled off considerably. At 3:00, I hear a door slam. I go to check it out, fearful that Luke has gotten up and decided to start playing. Turns out it was the office door. The wind had blown it shut. And that's when the storm started. It was absolutely crazy, blowing all through the house. Fearing a torrential downpour, I went about closing every window in the house to just a crack (because it was still hot out). Then I laid down and it started raining. And I started getting wet. That's when I realized that the little crack I'd left open was probably too big. So one MORE round about the house, closing windows.
As I was walking around the second floor closing windows, I see Luke's door open up. And slowly, I see his sippie cup being extended. That's it. It just hovers there in mid-air. This is Luke's new way of saying he wants water. Frankly, it's a lot better than hearing him scream "WATER!" at the top of his lungs at 2:00 a.m. But I wonder how often he does this. Does he do it when we're still asleep, just standing there with his arm extended?
Anyway, the rain only lasted about 5 minutes. Now the house is all shut up and it's getting quite hot and humid inside. Great. I keep waking up every 5 minutes or so. At 4:00, I think, "Should I just get up for good." Realizing how insane that is, I manage to fall back asleep. At 4:45, I actually wake up and go to the gym to swim 1200 meters. (Yeah, I think I'm ready for the triathlon Sunday.)
Today, I'm exhausted, but nothing a little coffee can't fix. I'm estimating that I got about 5 hours of sleep. And the storm managed to knock down a tree in our backyard. So that'll be fun to deal with. I think I'll spend all Sunday afternoon (you know, right after the triathlon) cutting it up....
It was hot last night and we had the windows open. I have a hard time sleeping with the windows open. I'm a baby, I know. I like the house COLD in the summer and HOT in the winter. You could say that I'm ComEd's poster-boy. The Wife is going through a "frugal" phase, which is to say that she's not spending money all willy-nilly like a typical American Consumer (like me, in other words). Can you imagine?
Anyway, The Wife doesn't like to turn on the air unless we absolutely need it. The problem is that the second floor of our house (where all the bedrooms are) doesn't cool down as quickly as the first floor of our house. Something about heat rising, I think. That and bad circulation. Well, I came up with an ingenious solution! I sleep downstairs! Now that we've rearranged our house a bit, we have a couch right in front of a couple windows in the living room (or is it a family room?). It's perfect for sleeping on hot nights because you always get a cool breeze.
So now that I've situated myself on the couch, I can't sleep. First, my brain won't shut off. For some reason, I'm thinking about our softball team and what we're going to do about our game that got rained out on Monday (which itself was a make-up game for a previous rainout). Then I hear a beep. Huh? A few minutes later, I hear it again. Now I'm trying to figure out if it's coming from inside or outside. Beep. Okay, that's definitely inside. But what is it? Is it going to stop or BEEP. Okay, it's definitely not going to stop. Should I turn on the lights to find it? BEEP. Grrr. Aha! It's The Wife's cell phone dying a slow (and loud) death. Alrighty, I'll just plug it in. Now how the hell does this thing work? Double grrr.
Okay, so now I'm back on the couch and it's inching closer to 10:30. (Note, I went to bed at 9:30 and was hoping to wake up at 4:45 to go to the gym for a swim.) And that's when I hear something hissing outside the window. It's probably a cat. No big deal because we have a few strays (or outside cats) in the neighborhood. But then I start thinking that maybe it's MY cat, the one that Luke let "free" a few months ago. So now I'm trying to listen to the sporadic hissing to figure out if it's in fact Simba. I look out the window and call for Simba, but get no response. Now that I think about it, even if it were Simba, what was I expecting him to do? Was he going to jump out and say, "Yes? How may I be of service tonight?"
Now we're getting closer to 10:45 and I can't stop thinking about Simba. So I turn on the TV and find an old episode of The Simpsons on the Tivo. Ah, the Lemon Tree episode, always a classic. "Why can't I find any lemons? Just a lemon-shaped rock. Hey! There's a lemon behind that rock!" So I put on the show and my brain shuts off. Sleep, sweet sleep.
At 2:00, I wake up and decide to head upstairs to sleep in bed. I figure it's my manly duty to spend at least part of the night sleeping with The Wife. Besides, by now the second floor has usually cooled off considerably. At 3:00, I hear a door slam. I go to check it out, fearful that Luke has gotten up and decided to start playing. Turns out it was the office door. The wind had blown it shut. And that's when the storm started. It was absolutely crazy, blowing all through the house. Fearing a torrential downpour, I went about closing every window in the house to just a crack (because it was still hot out). Then I laid down and it started raining. And I started getting wet. That's when I realized that the little crack I'd left open was probably too big. So one MORE round about the house, closing windows.
As I was walking around the second floor closing windows, I see Luke's door open up. And slowly, I see his sippie cup being extended. That's it. It just hovers there in mid-air. This is Luke's new way of saying he wants water. Frankly, it's a lot better than hearing him scream "WATER!" at the top of his lungs at 2:00 a.m. But I wonder how often he does this. Does he do it when we're still asleep, just standing there with his arm extended?
Anyway, the rain only lasted about 5 minutes. Now the house is all shut up and it's getting quite hot and humid inside. Great. I keep waking up every 5 minutes or so. At 4:00, I think, "Should I just get up for good." Realizing how insane that is, I manage to fall back asleep. At 4:45, I actually wake up and go to the gym to swim 1200 meters. (Yeah, I think I'm ready for the triathlon Sunday.)
Today, I'm exhausted, but nothing a little coffee can't fix. I'm estimating that I got about 5 hours of sleep. And the storm managed to knock down a tree in our backyard. So that'll be fun to deal with. I think I'll spend all Sunday afternoon (you know, right after the triathlon) cutting it up....
