Monday, August 27, 2007
More Thoughts on the Triathlon
I was re-thinking some of the stuff I wrote this morning about the triathlon. Mostly, I was thinking about how poorly written it was. This stupid triathlon wiped me out mentally too, I guess. (Although it's much easier to wipe me out mentally than physically. Just wave something shiny in front of my face.)
I keep thinking about the triathlon in general and why I feel moderately disappointed in my finish. The answer? I didn't win. Crazy, isn't it? I had no expectation of winning. Hell, it's almost a physical impossibility. And yet I'm a little bummed that I didn't.
I think the problem is that I'm a wrestler. And in wrestling, you either win or you lose. You don't go into a match thinking, "I hope I only lose by 5 points" or "Last time I got pinned in 2 minutes, so hopefully I can just beat that time." So it's kind of weird for me to think that "victory" is just beating your expectations.
Of course, part of the problem is that I didn't know what to expect, having never done a triathlon before. Now that I've done one, I know what to expect. More importantly, I think I've figured out how to create a "victory."
As I said earlier, I have no chance of being the first one across the finish line. Well, unless I go straight from the water and run directly to the finish line. Even then, I'd probably get a cramp on the way and still not make it. What I need to do is find someone to beat. So instead of competing against a "time," I'll be competing against someone in particular.
And since I'll be competing against someone in particular, it becomes a win-at-any-cost race. So when the swim starts, I have to make sure I'm right next to him. Then I can try to dunk him, or grab his ankles or kick him in the face. If he manages to avoid drowning, I'll load my bike with a bunch of weapons. I'm thinking of creating the bicycle equivalent of the Batmobile. Or Pee Wee's bike. Then if he gets close to me at all, I press the "oil slick" button and watch him fall. Granted, all the extra equipment will slow me down a little. But the goal isn't to win quickly. It's just to beat this dude.
The run is going to be more difficult. I won't be able to drown him and I won't have anywhere to store weapons. So I'll have to be more creative. I think the first thing to do will be to sabotage the transition (where you switch from bike to run). Maybe put some dog poo in his running shoes or cut his shoe laces. And then I'll run backwards to make sure I've always got an eye on him. Fortunately, the course does go pretty close to the lake, so I might be able to give him a hip check if he tries to pass.
In related news, I've already got a wishlist of stuff I want for next year's triathlons. Fortunately for The Wife, none of them are really expensive. Plus I have a long time to shop for them, so I can wait for deals. The first item is Pee Wee Herman's bike. That one might be hard to come by. After that, I need a wetsuit for those cold frigging swims. I need knew pedals and shoes for my bike. Not a necessity, but a nicety. It might save me a minute or two on my bike ride. Then a new speedometer for my bike that measures how fast you pedal (as well as how fast you're going). It helps you keep track of what gear you should be in. And finally, a strap to hold my bib. I'll probably come up with a few more things as time goes on. Much to The Wife's chagrin. (Hey, at least I'll be easy to shop for this xmas!)
I keep thinking about the triathlon in general and why I feel moderately disappointed in my finish. The answer? I didn't win. Crazy, isn't it? I had no expectation of winning. Hell, it's almost a physical impossibility. And yet I'm a little bummed that I didn't.
I think the problem is that I'm a wrestler. And in wrestling, you either win or you lose. You don't go into a match thinking, "I hope I only lose by 5 points" or "Last time I got pinned in 2 minutes, so hopefully I can just beat that time." So it's kind of weird for me to think that "victory" is just beating your expectations.
Of course, part of the problem is that I didn't know what to expect, having never done a triathlon before. Now that I've done one, I know what to expect. More importantly, I think I've figured out how to create a "victory."
As I said earlier, I have no chance of being the first one across the finish line. Well, unless I go straight from the water and run directly to the finish line. Even then, I'd probably get a cramp on the way and still not make it. What I need to do is find someone to beat. So instead of competing against a "time," I'll be competing against someone in particular.
And since I'll be competing against someone in particular, it becomes a win-at-any-cost race. So when the swim starts, I have to make sure I'm right next to him. Then I can try to dunk him, or grab his ankles or kick him in the face. If he manages to avoid drowning, I'll load my bike with a bunch of weapons. I'm thinking of creating the bicycle equivalent of the Batmobile. Or Pee Wee's bike. Then if he gets close to me at all, I press the "oil slick" button and watch him fall. Granted, all the extra equipment will slow me down a little. But the goal isn't to win quickly. It's just to beat this dude.
The run is going to be more difficult. I won't be able to drown him and I won't have anywhere to store weapons. So I'll have to be more creative. I think the first thing to do will be to sabotage the transition (where you switch from bike to run). Maybe put some dog poo in his running shoes or cut his shoe laces. And then I'll run backwards to make sure I've always got an eye on him. Fortunately, the course does go pretty close to the lake, so I might be able to give him a hip check if he tries to pass.
In related news, I've already got a wishlist of stuff I want for next year's triathlons. Fortunately for The Wife, none of them are really expensive. Plus I have a long time to shop for them, so I can wait for deals. The first item is Pee Wee Herman's bike. That one might be hard to come by. After that, I need a wetsuit for those cold frigging swims. I need knew pedals and shoes for my bike. Not a necessity, but a nicety. It might save me a minute or two on my bike ride. Then a new speedometer for my bike that measures how fast you pedal (as well as how fast you're going). It helps you keep track of what gear you should be in. And finally, a strap to hold my bib. I'll probably come up with a few more things as time goes on. Much to The Wife's chagrin. (Hey, at least I'll be easy to shop for this xmas!)
