The Dow Is Up!

If you really want to give your wife (or husband) a good scare, here's what you do. First, find yourself a spouse with a hearing impairment. Or, marry one without one and give them one. (I suggest giving both ears a good CLAP.) Then have a baby. Then get a baby monitor. Then be a relatively light sleeper. Got it? Okay.

So when the baby wakes up, you wake up too. Go into the baby's room and find the pacifier. Don't actually give the baby the pacifier until you hear your spouse come down the hall. Then give the baby the pacifier and walk in front of your spouse right as she (or he) is entering the room, expecting a baby. You'll scare the crap out of them. Or so I learned the other night. Hee!