Monday, June 04, 2007
Meeting of the Dorks
Last week, I had the “joy” of attending an actuarial conference. What’s an actuarial conference, you ask? It’s a very boring (by actuarial standards, which is saying a lot) meeting where actuaries learn how to be better actuaries. Or for me, it was a chance to do Kakuro for 8 hours a day.
As a credentialed retirement actuary, I have to do some things to keep my credentials. Evil, dirty things that I’m ashamed to admit. Like learning about mortality tables and how to calculate 415 limits (don’t ask). Anyway, to stay credentialed, I basically need to get 36 hours of training every 3 years. Since I haven’t worked as an actuary in awhile, I’ve had to cram all 36 hours into 2007. Fun! So while most actuaries get all their credits through workplace training, I had to go to the above-mentioned conference.
Since it was set at a resort in Florida, I was pretty optimistic about the conference. This resort has 2 Arnold Palmer-designed golf courses. Which is a good thing, I suppose. But since I routinely lose a dozen balls on a mini-golf course, I didn’t think I was ready to step up to the big leagues of an Arnold Palmer course. Oh, and I didn’t feel like paying $150 to see if I could break 200 strokes.
I also realized that I was heading to Florida in June. I think the only difference between Florida and Chicago in June is that, um, we have cicadas every 17 years. And that’s about it. The weather was actually much crappier in Florida for my trip, constantly overcast and a little drizzly.
What really surprised me about the conference was who attended it. Shockingly, it was very highly attended by actuaries! Actually, what surprised me was that I was the youngest person there and that the average age was probably north of 50. Then I realized that most people get their 36 hours through work. The only people that don’t are semi-employed (or mostly retired) and owners of small firms.
Then I was confronted with the reality of just how small the actuarial world is. There were about 150 people in attendance, and I knew 5 of them. In case you aren’t aware, I very briefly worked for a firm called CCA. (They’re no longer called that, thanks to a purchase by a very large bank.) I was there for about 6 months before being unceremoniously let go the day of our Christmas party.
Anyway, one of the people at the conference was Tom, the president of CCA, who no doubt okayed my axing. Another person there was Brian, my manager at CCA, who ultimately wielded said ax. The third person I knew was Denis. He left CCA right after I started. His departure shifted me onto his client, which turned into a disaster and led to said ouster. Then there was a woman I’ll call Angie (because her real name is so unique, she’d no doubt be able to google this article if she searched for her name). She was my office-mate when I worked at Hewitt. She’s now working for CCA. Finally, there was Tom, one of the 10 or so actuaries I worked with when I was in Boston. There couldn’t possibly be a nicer guy in the world than Tom. Unfortunately, he too was now working with the enemy, CCA. Thus, he’s now a jerk.
There really wasn’t much else exciting going on at the conference. There was one thing I found amusing though, which happened on the last day. We got into breakout sessions to discuss some pension issues. And yeah, it was as boring as it sounds. So, my table was me and 5 people over the age of 50. (Interestingly, one of the people there was from AARP. Pretty high up too.) Our topic was what people expect from pensions (and social security).
One of the old dudes at my table (well into his 60s) wanted to educate the public on pension plans. His solution: have the government produce a show on PBS to educate the masses. Huh? PBS? What’s that? Isn’t that a communicable disease that you need penicillin to clear up? His other solution was to better educate financial advisors so they could give better advise to their clients. Um, yeah.
And this brings us to the problem of perspective. All the people at my table were near retirement. They’re dealing with people near retirement. So their only perspective is that we need to help people near retirement. So there I am. Generation X (or the MTV generation, depending on where you draw the line). And so I mention that we have to educate people at a much younger age, like while they’re in high school. And instead of an old dude talking about pensions on PBS? How about something on this new invention they recently came out with, the internet? (Of course, in my mind, I’m picturing 50 Cent telling kids, “Yo, you betta max out your 401(k) contributions to get the most of yo employa’s match, be-yatch.”)
As a credentialed retirement actuary, I have to do some things to keep my credentials. Evil, dirty things that I’m ashamed to admit. Like learning about mortality tables and how to calculate 415 limits (don’t ask). Anyway, to stay credentialed, I basically need to get 36 hours of training every 3 years. Since I haven’t worked as an actuary in awhile, I’ve had to cram all 36 hours into 2007. Fun! So while most actuaries get all their credits through workplace training, I had to go to the above-mentioned conference.
Since it was set at a resort in Florida, I was pretty optimistic about the conference. This resort has 2 Arnold Palmer-designed golf courses. Which is a good thing, I suppose. But since I routinely lose a dozen balls on a mini-golf course, I didn’t think I was ready to step up to the big leagues of an Arnold Palmer course. Oh, and I didn’t feel like paying $150 to see if I could break 200 strokes.
I also realized that I was heading to Florida in June. I think the only difference between Florida and Chicago in June is that, um, we have cicadas every 17 years. And that’s about it. The weather was actually much crappier in Florida for my trip, constantly overcast and a little drizzly.
What really surprised me about the conference was who attended it. Shockingly, it was very highly attended by actuaries! Actually, what surprised me was that I was the youngest person there and that the average age was probably north of 50. Then I realized that most people get their 36 hours through work. The only people that don’t are semi-employed (or mostly retired) and owners of small firms.
Then I was confronted with the reality of just how small the actuarial world is. There were about 150 people in attendance, and I knew 5 of them. In case you aren’t aware, I very briefly worked for a firm called CCA. (They’re no longer called that, thanks to a purchase by a very large bank.) I was there for about 6 months before being unceremoniously let go the day of our Christmas party.
Anyway, one of the people at the conference was Tom, the president of CCA, who no doubt okayed my axing. Another person there was Brian, my manager at CCA, who ultimately wielded said ax. The third person I knew was Denis. He left CCA right after I started. His departure shifted me onto his client, which turned into a disaster and led to said ouster. Then there was a woman I’ll call Angie (because her real name is so unique, she’d no doubt be able to google this article if she searched for her name). She was my office-mate when I worked at Hewitt. She’s now working for CCA. Finally, there was Tom, one of the 10 or so actuaries I worked with when I was in Boston. There couldn’t possibly be a nicer guy in the world than Tom. Unfortunately, he too was now working with the enemy, CCA. Thus, he’s now a jerk.
There really wasn’t much else exciting going on at the conference. There was one thing I found amusing though, which happened on the last day. We got into breakout sessions to discuss some pension issues. And yeah, it was as boring as it sounds. So, my table was me and 5 people over the age of 50. (Interestingly, one of the people there was from AARP. Pretty high up too.) Our topic was what people expect from pensions (and social security).
One of the old dudes at my table (well into his 60s) wanted to educate the public on pension plans. His solution: have the government produce a show on PBS to educate the masses. Huh? PBS? What’s that? Isn’t that a communicable disease that you need penicillin to clear up? His other solution was to better educate financial advisors so they could give better advise to their clients. Um, yeah.
And this brings us to the problem of perspective. All the people at my table were near retirement. They’re dealing with people near retirement. So their only perspective is that we need to help people near retirement. So there I am. Generation X (or the MTV generation, depending on where you draw the line). And so I mention that we have to educate people at a much younger age, like while they’re in high school. And instead of an old dude talking about pensions on PBS? How about something on this new invention they recently came out with, the internet? (Of course, in my mind, I’m picturing 50 Cent telling kids, “Yo, you betta max out your 401(k) contributions to get the most of yo employa’s match, be-yatch.”)
