Tuesday, January 23, 2007
The Return of Jack’s Family
On last night’s episode of 24, Jack’s family has returned. Fortunately, it does not include Kimberly (hopefully destroyed in the nuclear bomb in Valencia) or his former wife Terry coming back from the dead. This week we meet his brother, Graham. Except we’ve already met him. He was the evil mastermind behind last season’s escapades. And now we find out that he’s Jack’s brother. How awesome is that? And of course, the episode ends with Jack punching his brother in the face (man, I liked that scene), tying him up and starting to torture him. To my surprise, he didn’t do it by putting his finger in Graham’s face and saying, “I’m not touching you. I’m not touching you. I’m not touching you.”
In other family news, we meet Graham’s wife and son. It’s revealed that the wife had an affair with Jack. And wouldn’t you know it, the kid kinda looks like Jack. Perhaps his nephew is really his son. (Man, I hope him name is Luke. “No, Luke. I am your father.” “NOOOOOOOO!”) Anyway, that’s what the internet buzz I’ve seen has been indicating. And we all know what internet buzz is good for. Coming up next week, we meet Jack’s father, played by the inimitable James Cromwell. (You know I have too much time on my hands when I start adding links to my blog.)
I wrote about the likelihood of having two black presidents last week. But last night I was watching Wayne Palmer and I realized he would NEVER get elected president. Not because he’s black, but because he’s bald. And he has facial hair. The electorate doesn’t like baldness. And it sure doesn’t like wispy goatees. Ironically, they don’t place must emphasis on intelligence, but they feel very strongly that there should be hair on your scalp and not your lip.
You have to go all the way back to Eisenhower to find the last bald president. (Note, Ford doesn’t count because he was never elected president. And Nixon might not have been very hirsute, but he was only mildly bald when he was first elected.) You have to go all the way back to William Taft (1909-1913) to find one with facial hair. That’s almost a hundred years! Now you’re telling me that a philandering, bald, goateed, black man with no political experience is going to become President? Yeah right.
Another item of note is that Regina King (playing Sandra Palmer, the president’s sister) is apparently taking over the role of annoying bitch, formerly played by Kim Bauer. Sandra is a lawyer and her client (a muslim leader) is unfairly being detained in a, um, detention center. (So that’s why they call it a “detention” center. I thought these guys just got in trouble at school. I think high schools should call their “study” halls detention centers. They should also post armed guards at the door. And have water table torturing. But I digress.)
So all episode, every episode, Sandra Palmer is saying “this is unconstitutional” and “I’m his lawyer” and “you can’t DO this.” God, shut UP. We understand that these detention centers are illegal. We understand that you’re trying to shine a light on the actual detention centers being run by the U.S. government and that they are illegal. Fine. Now go walk off into the woods, get caught in a trap, and get attacked by a cougar. Hopefully Kevin Dillon isn’t around to save you this time. (And yes, this actually happened to Kim Bauer. Worst. Side-story. Ever.)
In other family news, we meet Graham’s wife and son. It’s revealed that the wife had an affair with Jack. And wouldn’t you know it, the kid kinda looks like Jack. Perhaps his nephew is really his son. (Man, I hope him name is Luke. “No, Luke. I am your father.” “NOOOOOOOO!”) Anyway, that’s what the internet buzz I’ve seen has been indicating. And we all know what internet buzz is good for. Coming up next week, we meet Jack’s father, played by the inimitable James Cromwell. (You know I have too much time on my hands when I start adding links to my blog.)
I wrote about the likelihood of having two black presidents last week. But last night I was watching Wayne Palmer and I realized he would NEVER get elected president. Not because he’s black, but because he’s bald. And he has facial hair. The electorate doesn’t like baldness. And it sure doesn’t like wispy goatees. Ironically, they don’t place must emphasis on intelligence, but they feel very strongly that there should be hair on your scalp and not your lip.
You have to go all the way back to Eisenhower to find the last bald president. (Note, Ford doesn’t count because he was never elected president. And Nixon might not have been very hirsute, but he was only mildly bald when he was first elected.) You have to go all the way back to William Taft (1909-1913) to find one with facial hair. That’s almost a hundred years! Now you’re telling me that a philandering, bald, goateed, black man with no political experience is going to become President? Yeah right.
Another item of note is that Regina King (playing Sandra Palmer, the president’s sister) is apparently taking over the role of annoying bitch, formerly played by Kim Bauer. Sandra is a lawyer and her client (a muslim leader) is unfairly being detained in a, um, detention center. (So that’s why they call it a “detention” center. I thought these guys just got in trouble at school. I think high schools should call their “study” halls detention centers. They should also post armed guards at the door. And have water table torturing. But I digress.)
So all episode, every episode, Sandra Palmer is saying “this is unconstitutional” and “I’m his lawyer” and “you can’t DO this.” God, shut UP. We understand that these detention centers are illegal. We understand that you’re trying to shine a light on the actual detention centers being run by the U.S. government and that they are illegal. Fine. Now go walk off into the woods, get caught in a trap, and get attacked by a cougar. Hopefully Kevin Dillon isn’t around to save you this time. (And yes, this actually happened to Kim Bauer. Worst. Side-story. Ever.)
