Monday, June 19, 2006
Weddings Are Always Fun
I’ve long subscribed to the theory that all weddings are fun. No matter who’s getting married, how I know them, where it is, nothing matters. They’re always fun. Of course, a large part of that is attributable to my date for the vast majority of the weddings I’ve attended: The Wife. As much as we might fight at home (which is usually over stupid things, like kitty litter removal techniques (“You use a side-to-side motion? What the hell’s the MATTER with you?”)), we get along wonderfully in public. Probably because we feed off of each other and find each other very amusing. (Note, we’re usually the only ones that find us amusing.)
Anyway, Saturday was our third wedding of the summer. My former roommate, Chris, got married. All of my friends were there. (And so was a contestant from The Bachelor. More on that later.) Weddings with my friends are even more fun than other weddings because I don’t seem to hang out with them as often as I used to. (It’s almost as if there’s a 16-month-old walking-talking parasite living in my house that drains me of all my energy.)
Because of babysitting issues and conflicts, we had to skip the actual wedding ceremony, which was quite odd for us. The Wife and I haven’t missed a ceremony in, uh, ever. Not that I ENJOY wedding ceremonies. I generally hate them, in fact. (I spend most of the time commenting to The Wife about where they could have trimmed some time out of the ceremony.) But I feel like I have to go them. So when The Wife and I were trying to figure out how to resolve all of our scheduling conflicts and who would take care of Luke, it never occurred to me that we could just skip the ceremony. When The Wife mentioned it, my heart skipped a beat. Then I smiled and realized it was the best solution ever. So, big apologies to Chris and Jen for skipping the ceremony, but it made our life SO much easier, I can’t even explain it.
The big news of the wedding was that Shiloh, of The Bachelor in Paris fame, was there. I think she’s friends with the bride somehow. I don’t know. I don’t watch The Bachelor. (Not that I’m above it. I used to watch it. And I enjoyed it. I just don’t have the time for it.) I really don’t have much to say about her. She did try to steal my seat at dinner though. You see, we were all trying to sit down at Table 13, and there seemed to be a shortage of place settings. After much stress, Shiloh looked at her table number again. Turns out that she was supposed to be at Table 14. Understandable mistake. I get 13 and 14 confused all the time. They look so damn identical, I don’t know why we even have BOTH numbers!
One thing I realized during the night is that we (The Wife and I) must look pretty pathetic. I’ve been to weddings and sat with parents. They always look tired and they seem happy to just be “out.” That’s how I felt on Saturday and I’m sure that’s how people thought we looked. The Wife and I didn’t even step foot on the dance floor all night. (Usually, I’m being asked to leave the dance floor. And it’s usually by the paramedics after I’ve knocked another person unconscious with all my flailing.) But we were at a table with all my friends, exchanging stories. It was almost impossible for us to get up because we were having so much fun chatting. Again, it’s just fun to talk to people who know more than 10 words and can pronounce and use them correctly.
I found it funny too how many of my friends are trying to get in shape right now. We’re all in our 30’s and most of us are out of shape. Not that we’re fat (well, I am, but nobody else is), we’re just don’t look like we did in high school. At one point, a few of us were exchanging stories about trying to get back in shape. It was nice to know that I wasn’t alone. You see, I started running recently and it’s doing quite a bit of damage on my body. My feet, ankles, knees and legs are all sore. It turns out that I’m too fat to work out. So ironically, I have to lose weight before I start working out. Anyway, it was funny to hear that my friends feel the same way. And of course, everyone had a story about how they were doing well losing weight. Then they come home from working out only to find out that their woman had made 4 dozen cookies because she wanted to eat 1 of them. So, 3 dozen and 11 cookies later, all exercising for the past 2 months had been rendered useless.
Anyway, it was a great wedding and I’d like to wish Chris and Jen good luck. Oh, one last thing. Chris and Jen had a scrapbook for everyone to write comments. I smiled and looked at my wife. (She knew I wanted to write something inappropriate.) She told me I had to write something nice. I thought a minute and then came up with the perfect entry: “Congratulations. May your marriage be filled with all the wedded bliss that we enjoy.” I’ll leave it to Chris and Jen to determine whether or not that’s intended to be sarcastic.
Anyway, Saturday was our third wedding of the summer. My former roommate, Chris, got married. All of my friends were there. (And so was a contestant from The Bachelor. More on that later.) Weddings with my friends are even more fun than other weddings because I don’t seem to hang out with them as often as I used to. (It’s almost as if there’s a 16-month-old walking-talking parasite living in my house that drains me of all my energy.)
Because of babysitting issues and conflicts, we had to skip the actual wedding ceremony, which was quite odd for us. The Wife and I haven’t missed a ceremony in, uh, ever. Not that I ENJOY wedding ceremonies. I generally hate them, in fact. (I spend most of the time commenting to The Wife about where they could have trimmed some time out of the ceremony.) But I feel like I have to go them. So when The Wife and I were trying to figure out how to resolve all of our scheduling conflicts and who would take care of Luke, it never occurred to me that we could just skip the ceremony. When The Wife mentioned it, my heart skipped a beat. Then I smiled and realized it was the best solution ever. So, big apologies to Chris and Jen for skipping the ceremony, but it made our life SO much easier, I can’t even explain it.
The big news of the wedding was that Shiloh, of The Bachelor in Paris fame, was there. I think she’s friends with the bride somehow. I don’t know. I don’t watch The Bachelor. (Not that I’m above it. I used to watch it. And I enjoyed it. I just don’t have the time for it.) I really don’t have much to say about her. She did try to steal my seat at dinner though. You see, we were all trying to sit down at Table 13, and there seemed to be a shortage of place settings. After much stress, Shiloh looked at her table number again. Turns out that she was supposed to be at Table 14. Understandable mistake. I get 13 and 14 confused all the time. They look so damn identical, I don’t know why we even have BOTH numbers!
One thing I realized during the night is that we (The Wife and I) must look pretty pathetic. I’ve been to weddings and sat with parents. They always look tired and they seem happy to just be “out.” That’s how I felt on Saturday and I’m sure that’s how people thought we looked. The Wife and I didn’t even step foot on the dance floor all night. (Usually, I’m being asked to leave the dance floor. And it’s usually by the paramedics after I’ve knocked another person unconscious with all my flailing.) But we were at a table with all my friends, exchanging stories. It was almost impossible for us to get up because we were having so much fun chatting. Again, it’s just fun to talk to people who know more than 10 words and can pronounce and use them correctly.
I found it funny too how many of my friends are trying to get in shape right now. We’re all in our 30’s and most of us are out of shape. Not that we’re fat (well, I am, but nobody else is), we’re just don’t look like we did in high school. At one point, a few of us were exchanging stories about trying to get back in shape. It was nice to know that I wasn’t alone. You see, I started running recently and it’s doing quite a bit of damage on my body. My feet, ankles, knees and legs are all sore. It turns out that I’m too fat to work out. So ironically, I have to lose weight before I start working out. Anyway, it was funny to hear that my friends feel the same way. And of course, everyone had a story about how they were doing well losing weight. Then they come home from working out only to find out that their woman had made 4 dozen cookies because she wanted to eat 1 of them. So, 3 dozen and 11 cookies later, all exercising for the past 2 months had been rendered useless.
Anyway, it was a great wedding and I’d like to wish Chris and Jen good luck. Oh, one last thing. Chris and Jen had a scrapbook for everyone to write comments. I smiled and looked at my wife. (She knew I wanted to write something inappropriate.) She told me I had to write something nice. I thought a minute and then came up with the perfect entry: “Congratulations. May your marriage be filled with all the wedded bliss that we enjoy.” I’ll leave it to Chris and Jen to determine whether or not that’s intended to be sarcastic.
