Tuesday, June 20, 2006
So Smart, but So Stupid
I like to consider myself a smart guy. By that I mean, I’ve always done well in school and on standardized exams. So when “people” measure “smartness,” I tend to come out very well. As long as these people don’t measure common sense. The Wife is pretty smart too (if not smarter than me), but on Saturday, we both proved how stupid we can be.
We were talking to some people at the wedding on Saturday about our weight. Neither of us is thrilled with our weight. And lately, our weight has been bouncing all over the place. My weight has been fluctuating by about 5 pounds per week, seemingly with no relation to what I’ve been eating or when I’m exercising.
Being the intelligent people we are, The Wife and I explained that there’s probably something wrong with our scale. It doesn’t make sense for both of us to be going through this. Using the scientific method, we realized that the scale is the problem. We explained how upsetting this is because we really like this scale. The Wife bought it awhile ago, and it’s quite fancy. Not only does it weigh you, but it’ll compute your body fat (yeah, I want to see what THAT is) and several other things I haven’t figured out.
As I was explaining this to my friends, they asked if it was digital. Of course it is! How could an analog scale do all that cool stuff? And then to point out our stupidity, they asked if we checked the batteries. Shit. Batteries. Yeah, I guess those can run out of juice, can’t they? It makes a lot more sense than a minor fluctuation in the gravitational field occurring solely in our bathroom. Though I had to go through Stephen Hawking’s A Brief History of Time to prove the gravitational field theory was unlikely. So yeah, for as smart as The Wife and I are on paper, sometimes we’re incredibly stupid.
We were talking to some people at the wedding on Saturday about our weight. Neither of us is thrilled with our weight. And lately, our weight has been bouncing all over the place. My weight has been fluctuating by about 5 pounds per week, seemingly with no relation to what I’ve been eating or when I’m exercising.
Being the intelligent people we are, The Wife and I explained that there’s probably something wrong with our scale. It doesn’t make sense for both of us to be going through this. Using the scientific method, we realized that the scale is the problem. We explained how upsetting this is because we really like this scale. The Wife bought it awhile ago, and it’s quite fancy. Not only does it weigh you, but it’ll compute your body fat (yeah, I want to see what THAT is) and several other things I haven’t figured out.
As I was explaining this to my friends, they asked if it was digital. Of course it is! How could an analog scale do all that cool stuff? And then to point out our stupidity, they asked if we checked the batteries. Shit. Batteries. Yeah, I guess those can run out of juice, can’t they? It makes a lot more sense than a minor fluctuation in the gravitational field occurring solely in our bathroom. Though I had to go through Stephen Hawking’s A Brief History of Time to prove the gravitational field theory was unlikely. So yeah, for as smart as The Wife and I are on paper, sometimes we’re incredibly stupid.
