Friday, April 07, 2006
Wasting Away Again
I wish I were wasting away again in Margaritaville, but no such luck for me. No, I'm wasting away in WeightLossVille. Not as much fun. Today, I tipped the scales at 191.6, a loss of 1.6 pounds since yesterday. My two day weight loss total is 2.4 pounds. Sounds healthy to me....
I'm learning a few things on this diet. The number one thing I'm learning? It's a stupid diet. Here's why. I've lost 2.4 pounds, but I feel like ass. And that's after just TWO DAYS!
Last night, I got home around 5:30 and proceeded to pig out. I ate a nice salad for dinner. (By the way, I've discovered that salads with sweet peppers are infinitely better than salads without. It's compare it to eating crap and eating, well, anything else (except broccoli). Then I had some celery with peanut butter (I need to get some protein, after all). Then I had an orange. Then I had several handfuls of peanuts. Then I had some grapes. I was stuffed. Bursting even. In fact, I was already mentally writing today's blog about how this diet doesn't work because I gained so much weight.
Then I fell asleep. At 8:00. (I usually don't go to bed until around 11:00.) I didn't wake up until 6:15, and it was a struggle for me to get out of bed. Today, I feel like I spent all night smoking pot and doing tequila shots. I'm just not 100% "there." I'm guessing this might have something to do with (a) eating basically no protein, (b) eating basically no carbs, and (c)eating basically no calories. But still, I've lost 2.4 pounds, so I'm not going to stop now. (By the way, at this new rate of weight loss, I'll disappear from the face of the earth in 120 days. Keep your fingers crossed.)
I think what I've learned so far is that man is not supposed to live on fruits, vegetables, and nuts alone. Of course, I'm doing a super-vegan diet (not to mention a super-stupid diet). I should probably start eating breads and push more protein. In other words, I should have about 100 PB&J sandwiches a day. That way, I wouldn't feel like complete ass. I think this is how people on Survivor feel all the time. I've always wondered why those people are such pansies. They've got all this fruit all over, they've got rice. What more do they need? Apparently, they need protein, which is why they're all orgasmic once they get their hands on a fish.
Tonight, I'm making a beef roast, so I'm going to have to eat some of that. (I do believe that true vegans will eat meat if they bought it before they became vegans.) And if Survivor contestants get all orgasmic about catching a tiny fish, I shudder to think how I'll react when I eat the beef roast. I might just have to have dinner in private tonight. Anyway, while this is a definite no-no to the vegan diet, if I don't get some protein into me today, I might just pass out. Which wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing given that The Wife is hosting a garage sale tomorrow.
Before I go, I've got one more observation about the diet. One of the major drawbacks of it is how much damn food I have to bring with me to work every day. I have to bring a salad (and not a small one either). I have a separate tupperware thing for the salad dressing. (Thank God we got those tiny little tupperware cups. I had no idea what they'd be good for. I think this might really be their only purpose. Unless you want to carry a single strawberry with you somewhere.) I have another tupperware thing filled with strawberries. I have an apple and an orange. I also have a 24 oz bottle of Diet Pepsi. It's a good thing that (a) I have a briefcase and (b) I have no work in it. That way I can cram it full of all my food so I don't have to look like a retard walking into the building with enough food to feed a small army. (Though, if anyone asked, I'd just say that my office is having a party. Lord knows I wouldn't tell them that I'm experimenting with veganism.)
I'm learning a few things on this diet. The number one thing I'm learning? It's a stupid diet. Here's why. I've lost 2.4 pounds, but I feel like ass. And that's after just TWO DAYS!
Last night, I got home around 5:30 and proceeded to pig out. I ate a nice salad for dinner. (By the way, I've discovered that salads with sweet peppers are infinitely better than salads without. It's compare it to eating crap and eating, well, anything else (except broccoli). Then I had some celery with peanut butter (I need to get some protein, after all). Then I had an orange. Then I had several handfuls of peanuts. Then I had some grapes. I was stuffed. Bursting even. In fact, I was already mentally writing today's blog about how this diet doesn't work because I gained so much weight.
Then I fell asleep. At 8:00. (I usually don't go to bed until around 11:00.) I didn't wake up until 6:15, and it was a struggle for me to get out of bed. Today, I feel like I spent all night smoking pot and doing tequila shots. I'm just not 100% "there." I'm guessing this might have something to do with (a) eating basically no protein, (b) eating basically no carbs, and (c)eating basically no calories. But still, I've lost 2.4 pounds, so I'm not going to stop now. (By the way, at this new rate of weight loss, I'll disappear from the face of the earth in 120 days. Keep your fingers crossed.)
I think what I've learned so far is that man is not supposed to live on fruits, vegetables, and nuts alone. Of course, I'm doing a super-vegan diet (not to mention a super-stupid diet). I should probably start eating breads and push more protein. In other words, I should have about 100 PB&J sandwiches a day. That way, I wouldn't feel like complete ass. I think this is how people on Survivor feel all the time. I've always wondered why those people are such pansies. They've got all this fruit all over, they've got rice. What more do they need? Apparently, they need protein, which is why they're all orgasmic once they get their hands on a fish.
Tonight, I'm making a beef roast, so I'm going to have to eat some of that. (I do believe that true vegans will eat meat if they bought it before they became vegans.) And if Survivor contestants get all orgasmic about catching a tiny fish, I shudder to think how I'll react when I eat the beef roast. I might just have to have dinner in private tonight. Anyway, while this is a definite no-no to the vegan diet, if I don't get some protein into me today, I might just pass out. Which wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing given that The Wife is hosting a garage sale tomorrow.
Before I go, I've got one more observation about the diet. One of the major drawbacks of it is how much damn food I have to bring with me to work every day. I have to bring a salad (and not a small one either). I have a separate tupperware thing for the salad dressing. (Thank God we got those tiny little tupperware cups. I had no idea what they'd be good for. I think this might really be their only purpose. Unless you want to carry a single strawberry with you somewhere.) I have another tupperware thing filled with strawberries. I have an apple and an orange. I also have a 24 oz bottle of Diet Pepsi. It's a good thing that (a) I have a briefcase and (b) I have no work in it. That way I can cram it full of all my food so I don't have to look like a retard walking into the building with enough food to feed a small army. (Though, if anyone asked, I'd just say that my office is having a party. Lord knows I wouldn't tell them that I'm experimenting with veganism.)
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You are a moron. Which I know, that's a big duh statement.
beans, grains, tofu, soy products, too bad you don't like broccoli- that's a good source of lots of things you miss out on by not eating meat.
if you don't want to die, or screw up your metabolism, on this diet of yours... do some research man. expand beyond fruit and veggies and nuts.
i think i will bring something meaty and cheesy and full of animal goodness to flaunt in front of you tomorrow. it'll be fun. it'll be better when i bring it in the afternoon at the end of the garage sale.. the wife has promised some sort of good DbD-ness for breakfast.
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beans, grains, tofu, soy products, too bad you don't like broccoli- that's a good source of lots of things you miss out on by not eating meat.
if you don't want to die, or screw up your metabolism, on this diet of yours... do some research man. expand beyond fruit and veggies and nuts.
i think i will bring something meaty and cheesy and full of animal goodness to flaunt in front of you tomorrow. it'll be fun. it'll be better when i bring it in the afternoon at the end of the garage sale.. the wife has promised some sort of good DbD-ness for breakfast.
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