The Dow Is Up!

I have a problem. A serious one. But as far as serious problems go, it's a "good" serious problem. You see, a couple of weeks ago, I got a job offer from a large accounting firm (LAF). They want me to do business valuations. (I won't bore you with the details.) The cool thing? LAF values Employee Stock Option Plans (ESOPs). Ain't that great? What are ESOPs, you ask? Again, I won't bore you. The important thing is that it would (a) use my actuarial expertise and (b) have a lot of numbers. Those are two wonderful things.

When LAF made their offer, I thought it was low. To make them think I was "hot property," I told them I had some other interviews lined up and it might take awhile to agree to work for them. That was bullshit. I hadn't heard from any company whatsoever. But I managed to get an extra $5000 out of them by telling them I'd agree to forego those interviews and start working for LAF. I then signed their offer letter and returned it to them. We set a start date of May 15. All my employment problems were solved. Yay!!!!

Then I got a call from a large insurance company in suburban Chicago, whom I'll call InsureCo. For the past two years, I've dreamt about working for InsureCo. Every time they've sent someone to campus, either to speak or for a career fair, I've told them as much. I never heard word one. I forgot about them. Then they called, said they saw my resume and wanted to talk to me in more detail. Now, I had no idea how they got my resume. And frankly, I didn't care. I wanted to hear what they had to say about a job. I felt bad about it, though, because I'd already agreed to work for LAF. But, it couldn't hurt to hear what InsureCo had to say, right?

Well, I had another conversation with InsureCo. It turns out that they have numerous areas that someone like me (you know, antisocial, misanthropic, smelly) could excel. They liked that I was a pension actuary and that I have my MBA. (Here's some boring actuarial stuff. Generally, insurance companies couldn't give a rat's ass about pension actuaries. The skills are similar, but the applications are wholly different. It's like a mechanical engineer trying to get a job as an electrical engineer. In other words, if you're not a mechanical or electrical engineer, you say, "Shut the fuck up, you dork." So feel free to say that to me now as I return to my blog.) After talking to InsureCo's recruiter about all the different positions, I agreed to do a phone interview.

Well, I had the phone interview today. The chicky was recruiting me for an actuarial position. Not only that, they loved that I was a pension actuary with consulting experience. And they liked that I worked as a quality engineer. They even liked my business valuation internship. And forget about my MBA; she practically peed her pants with excitement over it. So I passed the phone interview with flying colors and now my info is being passed up the ladder at InsureCo. In the next few days, I should know whether I'll have an official interview.

Here's what I like about the idea of working at InsureCo.

1. I'll get to go back to working as an actuary. This may seem like a stupid thing to want to do after having spent 3 years trying to get away from being an actuary. The thing is that I didn't necessarily want to stop being an actuary. And after taking (and passing) all my actuarial exams, it sure would be nice to put those to use.
2. InsureCo is 5 miles from my house. My commute would literally be 15 minutes, unless I wanted to ride my bike. My commute to LAF would be about an hour or so each way. (I'd have a 15 minute drive to the train station, then a 30-45 minute train ride, then a short walk to the office.) Let's call it a net savings of 1 hour each way.
3. Working for an insurance company means a LOT less hours than working for a consulting firm like LAF. At LAF, I'd be expected to work an average of 50 hours a week. That's not outrageous in today's society and it was about what I expected. At an insurance company, I'd be surprised if it were over 40. It's just a different mentality. If I work 10 less hours a week, that's a net savings of 4 HOURS PER DAY.
4. On top of the time savings, I should actually be getting paid MORE at InsureCo. Why? You see, credentialed actuaries are quite rare. They go through a series of testing that's more rigorous than the CPA exams. I've even heard that the only thing that really compares are medical boards. (Of course, it was actuaries that told me this, so I'm sure they were biased.) I'd get paid a lot more to be a consulting actuary. But, an insurance actuary should still make more money than an uncredentialed business valuation associate.
5. The last thing I like about InsureCo? They have several different areas where my actuarial experience and my MBA would be beneficial. The chicky today even told me that I could rotate virtually all over the company.

See? This is why I'd been harassing InsureCo every time I saw them. I love the company and desperately want to work there. But there's still the little problem of LAF and the job I'm supposed to start there next month. (It's literally one month from tomorrow.) I'd feel incredibly guilty backing out of this position. Especially since the Assistant Dean at my school helped get me the job.

On the flip side, I feel like I haven't lied to them. This InsureCo thing came out of the blue, after I already made my deal. Of course, the best analogy is getting hit on by a Playboy centerfold at your engagement party. You're freshly off the market, but you desperately want the centerfold. You know there's no easy way out of the engagement. Not without looking like a complete ass. But do you break off the engagement because of a little harmless flirting? Hell no! You go out on a date with the centerfold first. You get to know her. You've got to make sure she's not a born-again neo-nazi. (Yeah, there's a big problem with born-again neo-nazis. They're all over the friggin' place. I can't swing a dead cat without hitting one.) Then sometime after you sleep with the centerfold, you tell your high school sweetheart that you're gay and you never want to see her again. That way she might actually give you your engagement ring back.

(By the way, if that story seems a little too realistic, it's because that's how I met The Wife. True story. Well, except for the whole centerfold thing. And the engagement party. Well, okay, I made the whole thing up. Piss off.)

Anyway, I'm still stuck with the problem of what to do with InsureCo and LAF. I'm going to talk to my favorite professor on Tuesday (next time I see him) and see what he thinks. Depending on what he says, I might tell the Assistant Dean. And lastly, I might tell LAF. But I'd really like to know if I've got a job from InsureCo first. No sense ruining what might be a wonderful marriage for a little harmless flirting.