Thursday, March 30, 2006
Lost - 3/29/06
I watched Lost last night. I don't know if I've ever watched a show that bothers me so much. Well, not since I was hooked on Melrose Place, but that show bothered me because it made me question my sexuality (not to mention my sanity). Honestly, why should I really care about Billy and Allison getting back together again. And that crazy Sydney, what will she do next? Anyway, back to Lost. I started watching over the summer and got hooked. It was very entertaining. They really knew how to build suspense. I came back every week just dying for more. Then I realized why it was so suspenseful. They only showed half the episodes! Batting .500 might get you into the Baseball Hall of Fame, but it won't make you successful TV show. (For that matter, it won't get you into the Actuarial Hall of Fame, but that's a discussion for another day.)
Last night's episode was fairly solid, except for the flashbacks to Locke's past. I know that I have attention-deficit problems. I have a hard time paying attention to what I'm doing for more than -- ooh shiny! Sorry, where was I? Yes, attention-deficit problems. Whenever Lost flashes back, my mind just wanders. The reason? I just couldn't give a crap about the characters' histories.
(I hate to interrupt my own blog entry, but I just stumbled across Journey's "Separate Ways" on my 1983 Greatest Hits List. I can't explain how much I like Journey songs and it makes me question my sexuality more than Melrose Place did. I mean, these guys are gay, right? Their songs are gay, right? I shouldn't enjoy listening to these songs, right? Yet, when "Separate Ways" came on, I turned up the volume and started singing along. I think I'm just having flashbacks to the great Journey videos of the 80's with Steve Perry's awesomely feathered hair. And you know what? My flashback is much more entertaining than anything of the flashbacks on Lost. Back to the blog entry.)
In Locke's flashback, they cover what happened when Locke's "father" died. You see, Locke's "father" was actually a con man that just wanted Locke's kidney. (I think if I ever become a con man (and it is something I've been looking into), I'm going to try to con people out of body parts. "I've got this great deal to get an extra heart, but I'm a kidney short of getting it. If only I had an extra kidney.... Say, you've got two kidneys, don't ya?")
Anyway, Locke's "father" dies. But did the con man really die? You betcha. Or so he'd like you to think! He's actually alive. And not dead! Man, I didn't see that coming. (Actually, I didn't. I didn't really care about the first flashback where he stole his kidney. I don't care that the guy's a con man. I just want the stupid flashback to end already.) By the way, that's exactly how Lost does their show. It's like watching a bad episode of Behind the Music. Wait, they're all bad episodes. Honestly, if I don't stop sidetracking myself, I'll never finish this entry.
Locke's "father," who isn't really dead, enlists Locke to help him pick up some money he stole from two guys who look like they've been in way too many Jean Claude Van Damme movies. You know the type I'm talking about. Not quite skeezy, but not quite right for any other role either. Apparently, these guys were in charge of some "retirement money." Yeah, cuz I have Rocko and Esteban running my 401(k) plan. In fact, I have them investing heavily in Nigeria and some guy who can't seem to get his money out of the country. All I need to do is give them $20,000 and I'll make $10,000,000 instantaneously. I can't lose! Please take all my money!
Okay, I'm not even remotely staying on topic right now. My point is that I don't understand the point of this whole flashback. Was it to show that Locke was a complete wimp? Was it to show that he just wanted someone to look after? That he's too trusting? That he had a really bad hairdo? That he couldn't even nail Peg Bundy from Married with Children? I just don't get it. And yet, I'll be there next week watching this stupid show and complaining about the flashback sequences. Stay tuned for my flattering review next week.
Last night's episode was fairly solid, except for the flashbacks to Locke's past. I know that I have attention-deficit problems. I have a hard time paying attention to what I'm doing for more than -- ooh shiny! Sorry, where was I? Yes, attention-deficit problems. Whenever Lost flashes back, my mind just wanders. The reason? I just couldn't give a crap about the characters' histories.
(I hate to interrupt my own blog entry, but I just stumbled across Journey's "Separate Ways" on my 1983 Greatest Hits List. I can't explain how much I like Journey songs and it makes me question my sexuality more than Melrose Place did. I mean, these guys are gay, right? Their songs are gay, right? I shouldn't enjoy listening to these songs, right? Yet, when "Separate Ways" came on, I turned up the volume and started singing along. I think I'm just having flashbacks to the great Journey videos of the 80's with Steve Perry's awesomely feathered hair. And you know what? My flashback is much more entertaining than anything of the flashbacks on Lost. Back to the blog entry.)
In Locke's flashback, they cover what happened when Locke's "father" died. You see, Locke's "father" was actually a con man that just wanted Locke's kidney. (I think if I ever become a con man (and it is something I've been looking into), I'm going to try to con people out of body parts. "I've got this great deal to get an extra heart, but I'm a kidney short of getting it. If only I had an extra kidney.... Say, you've got two kidneys, don't ya?")
Anyway, Locke's "father" dies. But did the con man really die? You betcha. Or so he'd like you to think! He's actually alive. And not dead! Man, I didn't see that coming. (Actually, I didn't. I didn't really care about the first flashback where he stole his kidney. I don't care that the guy's a con man. I just want the stupid flashback to end already.) By the way, that's exactly how Lost does their show. It's like watching a bad episode of Behind the Music. Wait, they're all bad episodes. Honestly, if I don't stop sidetracking myself, I'll never finish this entry.
Locke's "father," who isn't really dead, enlists Locke to help him pick up some money he stole from two guys who look like they've been in way too many Jean Claude Van Damme movies. You know the type I'm talking about. Not quite skeezy, but not quite right for any other role either. Apparently, these guys were in charge of some "retirement money." Yeah, cuz I have Rocko and Esteban running my 401(k) plan. In fact, I have them investing heavily in Nigeria and some guy who can't seem to get his money out of the country. All I need to do is give them $20,000 and I'll make $10,000,000 instantaneously. I can't lose! Please take all my money!
Okay, I'm not even remotely staying on topic right now. My point is that I don't understand the point of this whole flashback. Was it to show that Locke was a complete wimp? Was it to show that he just wanted someone to look after? That he's too trusting? That he had a really bad hairdo? That he couldn't even nail Peg Bundy from Married with Children? I just don't get it. And yet, I'll be there next week watching this stupid show and complaining about the flashback sequences. Stay tuned for my flattering review next week.
