Wednesday, February 01, 2006
I Think I Have a Soda Problem
Today was a busy day for me, between trying to calm a cranky child and trying to get homework done. Oh yeah, and finishing our master bath and finding a job. And trying to think of what the hell I'm going to give a speech about at my graduation and coming up with a biography. All that and I had to go shopping for some groceries.
I used to hate grocery shopping. I avoided it like the plague. Actually, more than the plague. Because, honestly, when's the last time anyone's actually attempted to avoid the plague. I might try to avoid avian flu or something, but the plague? That went out with flannel in the 1990's, if I remember my history correctly. Besides, how in the hell would I avoid the plague? Would I just not answer the phone if the caller ID said "Plague"? Would it knock at the door? Would it run away scared at my dog like all the guys who put flyers on our doorknob? I'm getting off the point.
When I lived in Boston oh so many years ago, I refused to go grocery shopping. This wasn't as difficult as you might think. First of all, I worked at a company that had free lunch. They also put food in the fridge in case you had to work late at night. Second, I was studying for actuarial exams, so I was always staying late at work, studying and eating. Third, in Boston you can't buy liquor in grocery stores. Had to run to the packy (package store), which is where I made all my beer purchases. Fourth (and last), I ordered a lot of pizza and went out for nachos and beer at Sunset Grille quite often.
(Actually, that website sucks. Here's a good one with pictures of the place that almost brings tears to my eyes. I used to go to this place EVERY weekend for 3 years. They had the best damn nachos in the world. I'd kill someone right now for some of them.)
Anyway, combining the free food at work, my study/work habits, my beer purchases, and my eating habits, I didn't have a whole lot of grocery shopping to do. (And shockingly, I gained like 30-40 pounds in the 3 years I lived out there. Damned shocking, I say.)
Another reason I hated shopping out there was that I lived in a very "collegy" area. I was smack dab in the middle of Boston College and Boston University, less than 5 miles from each campus. So, the grocery stores (and I think there were 3 in all of Eastern Mass.) were always packed. In fact, I usually spent longer in line than I did shopping. Very annoying.
Lately though, I've found that I'm actually starting to enjoy grocery shopping. One reason is that you can't swing a retarded bagger without hitting a grocery store. There are 2 Dominick's within 1.5 miles of my house. How does that make sense logistically? Maybe that's why Dominick's isn't doing so well. But ironically, that's why I love their stores. There's never anyone in them. Anyway, if you factor in Sam's and Target, there's just plenty of grocery options within 3 miles of my house.
In addition, I'm unemployed and I have been for some time. There are few advantages to being unemployed. One of them is being able to watch The Price Is Right every day. Another is being able to go grocery shopping with all the senior citizens. They're so easy to knock out of the way!
So today I went to Sam's to pick up a few things. We were running low on Diet Coke, which is Wet Blanket's favorite soda. At Sam's, you have to buy 4 2-liters of soda at once. So I bought 4 Diet Cokes for Wet Blanket. (Of course, she's cutting back on her soda intake, so that was probably a stupid purchase.)
After Sam's, I ran to Dominick's. I strolled down the soda aisle and I found out that all the Coke products were $0.79! What a deal, what a steal! Generally, I only like one Coke product: Diet Vanilla Coke, which they discontinued. Jerks. Since I just bought 8 liters of Diet Coke that won't get drunk this decade, I decided to just ignore the deal. Then I saw that there was a coupon for Coke Zero. If I bought 2 2-liters of any Coke product, I got a free Coke Zero. Now, I don't really like Coke Zero much. But, I could get 3 2-liters for just $1.58!!! How could I possibly pass this up? I couldn't. I tried. Believe me, I tried. But I'm such a weak man.
I ended up buying another 2 2-liters of Diet Coke (with a twist of lime) and getting the Coke Zero for free. So the net soda purchase for the day? 7 2-liters of soda that we really don't need.
And the best part of the story? I completely forgot to buy the dental floss that I desperately need. So tomorrow I'll probably drag Luke back to the grocery store with me so the checkout lady can give me more parenting advice. Well at least I can pick up some more Diet Coke while I'm there.
I used to hate grocery shopping. I avoided it like the plague. Actually, more than the plague. Because, honestly, when's the last time anyone's actually attempted to avoid the plague. I might try to avoid avian flu or something, but the plague? That went out with flannel in the 1990's, if I remember my history correctly. Besides, how in the hell would I avoid the plague? Would I just not answer the phone if the caller ID said "Plague"? Would it knock at the door? Would it run away scared at my dog like all the guys who put flyers on our doorknob? I'm getting off the point.
When I lived in Boston oh so many years ago, I refused to go grocery shopping. This wasn't as difficult as you might think. First of all, I worked at a company that had free lunch. They also put food in the fridge in case you had to work late at night. Second, I was studying for actuarial exams, so I was always staying late at work, studying and eating. Third, in Boston you can't buy liquor in grocery stores. Had to run to the packy (package store), which is where I made all my beer purchases. Fourth (and last), I ordered a lot of pizza and went out for nachos and beer at Sunset Grille quite often.
(Actually, that website sucks. Here's a good one with pictures of the place that almost brings tears to my eyes. I used to go to this place EVERY weekend for 3 years. They had the best damn nachos in the world. I'd kill someone right now for some of them.)
Anyway, combining the free food at work, my study/work habits, my beer purchases, and my eating habits, I didn't have a whole lot of grocery shopping to do. (And shockingly, I gained like 30-40 pounds in the 3 years I lived out there. Damned shocking, I say.)
Another reason I hated shopping out there was that I lived in a very "collegy" area. I was smack dab in the middle of Boston College and Boston University, less than 5 miles from each campus. So, the grocery stores (and I think there were 3 in all of Eastern Mass.) were always packed. In fact, I usually spent longer in line than I did shopping. Very annoying.
Lately though, I've found that I'm actually starting to enjoy grocery shopping. One reason is that you can't swing a retarded bagger without hitting a grocery store. There are 2 Dominick's within 1.5 miles of my house. How does that make sense logistically? Maybe that's why Dominick's isn't doing so well. But ironically, that's why I love their stores. There's never anyone in them. Anyway, if you factor in Sam's and Target, there's just plenty of grocery options within 3 miles of my house.
In addition, I'm unemployed and I have been for some time. There are few advantages to being unemployed. One of them is being able to watch The Price Is Right every day. Another is being able to go grocery shopping with all the senior citizens. They're so easy to knock out of the way!
So today I went to Sam's to pick up a few things. We were running low on Diet Coke, which is Wet Blanket's favorite soda. At Sam's, you have to buy 4 2-liters of soda at once. So I bought 4 Diet Cokes for Wet Blanket. (Of course, she's cutting back on her soda intake, so that was probably a stupid purchase.)
After Sam's, I ran to Dominick's. I strolled down the soda aisle and I found out that all the Coke products were $0.79! What a deal, what a steal! Generally, I only like one Coke product: Diet Vanilla Coke, which they discontinued. Jerks. Since I just bought 8 liters of Diet Coke that won't get drunk this decade, I decided to just ignore the deal. Then I saw that there was a coupon for Coke Zero. If I bought 2 2-liters of any Coke product, I got a free Coke Zero. Now, I don't really like Coke Zero much. But, I could get 3 2-liters for just $1.58!!! How could I possibly pass this up? I couldn't. I tried. Believe me, I tried. But I'm such a weak man.
I ended up buying another 2 2-liters of Diet Coke (with a twist of lime) and getting the Coke Zero for free. So the net soda purchase for the day? 7 2-liters of soda that we really don't need.
And the best part of the story? I completely forgot to buy the dental floss that I desperately need. So tomorrow I'll probably drag Luke back to the grocery store with me so the checkout lady can give me more parenting advice. Well at least I can pick up some more Diet Coke while I'm there.
