Thursday, February 09, 2006
Am I Obsessive or Just "Particular"?
I frequently have conversations with myself. (Which is never a good sign, but I'm not here to talk about my schizophrenia right now. [And neither am I!]). Lately, these thoughts been revolving about whether or not I have obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). While I think I can unequivocally say that I don't have OCD, I can't firmly state that I don't have "issues."
This last occurred to me the other day when I was in class, fishing for a pen in my backpack. At the beginning of the semester, I bought a 2-pack of pens. They're the clicky, see-through ones, nothing too fancy. Anyway, I was alternating them since I couldn't tell them apart. Then at one point last semester, I broke off the little plastic thing that clips to your pocket. (What is that thing anyway? Where's Rich Hall's and his Sniglets when you need them?)
Well, now I can tell my pens apart. So I kept using the one with the broken doohickey. Since it was see-through, I eventually noticed that I'd used a lot of ink. Then I thought about how I never really used a pen until it ran out of ink. Have you? Think about it. I always seem to pick up pens that don't work. But if you open them up, you see they have lots of ink. I lose a lot of pens too. So if I could actually use a pen until it ran out of ink, I could cross it off my "Things To Do Before I Die" list. (Other items on that list? "Drink a beer" and "eat a pizza." I don't plan on living much longer. Perhaps if I didn't keep adding those two items to my list every time I cross them off....)
Anyway, I've been writing with this one pen all for some time now. It'd been running low. The ink started getting streaky and unreliable. I had to press extra hard to make it come out. But I wasn't just going to throw it away! Not when I was so close to my goal! A couple of weeks ago, I had to put it on special duty. I could only use it on non-writing-intensive things like Sudokus or crosswords. I felt like I was putting it in a nursing home or something.
Well, it didn't last long in the home. On Tuesday, Clicky died. I shed a tear, I said a few words and then I tossed it in the trash. Clicky Jr. came out of the bag and showed me what I was missing by sticking with the old guy so long. Clicky Jr. flowed great and made writing a joy. (Sadly, he didn't make my handwriting any more legible. I totally should have been a doctor. Or maybe I'm actually left-handed and don't know it. Cuz I can't write for shit with my right one.)
It's actually a relief for me to not have to worry about this stupid pen anymore. I've accomplished my (pathetic) goal and now I don't have to worry about being so obsessive about it. Now I can obsess about how I only have one pen in my bag and what I'll do if I lose it.
This last occurred to me the other day when I was in class, fishing for a pen in my backpack. At the beginning of the semester, I bought a 2-pack of pens. They're the clicky, see-through ones, nothing too fancy. Anyway, I was alternating them since I couldn't tell them apart. Then at one point last semester, I broke off the little plastic thing that clips to your pocket. (What is that thing anyway? Where's Rich Hall's and his Sniglets when you need them?)
Well, now I can tell my pens apart. So I kept using the one with the broken doohickey. Since it was see-through, I eventually noticed that I'd used a lot of ink. Then I thought about how I never really used a pen until it ran out of ink. Have you? Think about it. I always seem to pick up pens that don't work. But if you open them up, you see they have lots of ink. I lose a lot of pens too. So if I could actually use a pen until it ran out of ink, I could cross it off my "Things To Do Before I Die" list. (Other items on that list? "Drink a beer" and "eat a pizza." I don't plan on living much longer. Perhaps if I didn't keep adding those two items to my list every time I cross them off....)
Anyway, I've been writing with this one pen all for some time now. It'd been running low. The ink started getting streaky and unreliable. I had to press extra hard to make it come out. But I wasn't just going to throw it away! Not when I was so close to my goal! A couple of weeks ago, I had to put it on special duty. I could only use it on non-writing-intensive things like Sudokus or crosswords. I felt like I was putting it in a nursing home or something.
Well, it didn't last long in the home. On Tuesday, Clicky died. I shed a tear, I said a few words and then I tossed it in the trash. Clicky Jr. came out of the bag and showed me what I was missing by sticking with the old guy so long. Clicky Jr. flowed great and made writing a joy. (Sadly, he didn't make my handwriting any more legible. I totally should have been a doctor. Or maybe I'm actually left-handed and don't know it. Cuz I can't write for shit with my right one.)
It's actually a relief for me to not have to worry about this stupid pen anymore. I've accomplished my (pathetic) goal and now I don't have to worry about being so obsessive about it. Now I can obsess about how I only have one pen in my bag and what I'll do if I lose it.
Comments:
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Dow,
I'm guessing you're not actually OCD, but if you're worried about it maybe you should check OCPD--(Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder)
A pervasive pattern of preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and mental and interpersonal control, at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following:
1) is preoccupied with details, rules, lists, order, organization, or schedules to the extent that the major point of the activity is lost.
2) shows perfectionism that interferes with task completion (e.g., is unable to complete a project because his or her own overly strict standards are not met)
3) is excessively devoted to work and productivity to the exclusion of leisure activities and friendships not accounted for by obvious economic necessity (yeah, this isn't a problem for you, right?)
4) is overconscientious, scrupulous, and inflexible about matters of morality, ethics, or values not accounted for by cultural or religious identification
5) is unable to discard worn-out or worthless objects even when they have no sentimental value (I think Clicky-the-dying-pen reminded me of this)
6) is reluctant to delegate tasks or to work with others unless they submit to exactly his or her way of doing things (Mrs. David Brent?)
7) adopts a miserly spending style toward both self and others; money is viewed as something to be hoarded for future catastrophes (does not being able to resist a sale on Coke products count as miserly?)
8) shows rigidity and stubbornness (don't worry about this one, I think this goes for all males)
As long as being 'particular' doesn't interfere with your life, then it's not really a diagnosable problem.
Oh, by the way, I'm totally heading to Sunset Grille this weekend for nachos and beer. ;)
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I'm guessing you're not actually OCD, but if you're worried about it maybe you should check OCPD--(Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder)
A pervasive pattern of preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and mental and interpersonal control, at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following:
1) is preoccupied with details, rules, lists, order, organization, or schedules to the extent that the major point of the activity is lost.
2) shows perfectionism that interferes with task completion (e.g., is unable to complete a project because his or her own overly strict standards are not met)
3) is excessively devoted to work and productivity to the exclusion of leisure activities and friendships not accounted for by obvious economic necessity (yeah, this isn't a problem for you, right?)
4) is overconscientious, scrupulous, and inflexible about matters of morality, ethics, or values not accounted for by cultural or religious identification
5) is unable to discard worn-out or worthless objects even when they have no sentimental value (I think Clicky-the-dying-pen reminded me of this)
6) is reluctant to delegate tasks or to work with others unless they submit to exactly his or her way of doing things (Mrs. David Brent?)
7) adopts a miserly spending style toward both self and others; money is viewed as something to be hoarded for future catastrophes (does not being able to resist a sale on Coke products count as miserly?)
8) shows rigidity and stubbornness (don't worry about this one, I think this goes for all males)
As long as being 'particular' doesn't interfere with your life, then it's not really a diagnosable problem.
Oh, by the way, I'm totally heading to Sunset Grille this weekend for nachos and beer. ;)
# posted by 
: 10:35 AM
: 10:35 AM << Home
