Thursday, January 19, 2006
My Guilty Secret
Awhile ago, I confessed to watching Nanny 911. It's pretty embarrassing, I know. I have another guilty secret to confess though. I've actually been taping American Idol because I don't want to miss a minute of it.
I think American Idol is a terrible show. It represents (nay, celebrates) all that is wrong with music today. It's a bunch of no-talent ass clowns (thank you, Office Space) competing by singing terrible songs. And yet, that's what makes it so damn interesting.
I really only care about the first few episodes of the year, when they do the auditions. And the worse the person does, the more I enjoy it. I actually stop watching the show once everyone gets to Hollywood because I could really care less about who wins. I'm shocked that anyone does. Yet, millions of people vote. I'm guessing it's because life is so boring for these people and they literally have nothing else to do with their time.
(By the way, has anyone bought or downloaded (legally or illegally) an album by Kelly Clarkson, Ruben Studdard, Fantasia Something, or Carrie Underwood? I didn't think so. That said, I really like Kelly Clarkson's "Since You Been Gone." God, I'm such a loser.)
I can't tear myself away from this show though. I'm so damn interested in seeing the morons they trot out time and time again. What's disturbing is how many truly terrible singers think that they're great. I think I know how this happens too. They'll sing around the house or around school or wherever. And they'll ask, "how was that?" And everyone says, "uh, it was great, I guess." Then the ego takes over and next thing you know, they're on American Idol.
There has to be a way to stop this. I suggest that from now on, if you hear someone singing, tell them they suck. If they give you a weird look or get offended, tell them that you just don't want them to show up on American Idol. Of course, that only applies for moderately bad singers. The horrible singers (you'll know them because they'll leave a trail of dead animals behind them when they're singing), should only be encouraged to try out for American Idol. Not only should you be advising them to try out for the show, but you should also tell them to dress in the most outrageous outfits possible. Otherwise, they won't get on TV. If you can do that, I think I'll be able to keep watching this terrible show.
I think American Idol is a terrible show. It represents (nay, celebrates) all that is wrong with music today. It's a bunch of no-talent ass clowns (thank you, Office Space) competing by singing terrible songs. And yet, that's what makes it so damn interesting.
I really only care about the first few episodes of the year, when they do the auditions. And the worse the person does, the more I enjoy it. I actually stop watching the show once everyone gets to Hollywood because I could really care less about who wins. I'm shocked that anyone does. Yet, millions of people vote. I'm guessing it's because life is so boring for these people and they literally have nothing else to do with their time.
(By the way, has anyone bought or downloaded (legally or illegally) an album by Kelly Clarkson, Ruben Studdard, Fantasia Something, or Carrie Underwood? I didn't think so. That said, I really like Kelly Clarkson's "Since You Been Gone." God, I'm such a loser.)
I can't tear myself away from this show though. I'm so damn interested in seeing the morons they trot out time and time again. What's disturbing is how many truly terrible singers think that they're great. I think I know how this happens too. They'll sing around the house or around school or wherever. And they'll ask, "how was that?" And everyone says, "uh, it was great, I guess." Then the ego takes over and next thing you know, they're on American Idol.
There has to be a way to stop this. I suggest that from now on, if you hear someone singing, tell them they suck. If they give you a weird look or get offended, tell them that you just don't want them to show up on American Idol. Of course, that only applies for moderately bad singers. The horrible singers (you'll know them because they'll leave a trail of dead animals behind them when they're singing), should only be encouraged to try out for American Idol. Not only should you be advising them to try out for the show, but you should also tell them to dress in the most outrageous outfits possible. Otherwise, they won't get on TV. If you can do that, I think I'll be able to keep watching this terrible show.
