Friday, January 20, 2006
Jinx!
I put Luke down for a nap almost two hours ago. I'm surprised he's sleeping this long. In fact, I'm testing my "Jinx Theory of Sleeping." The theory goes something like this: if I start doing something that is going to take more than a few minutes while Luke is asleep, Luke will inevitably wake up right as I start.
To my surprise, I got through a whole paragraph without him waking up. But I know it can't last. He's bound to hear my fingers banging away on the keyboard. Oh, wait. Mocha just started growling at the garbage trucks going down the street. But she didn't bark? Something must be wrong with her. My Jinx Theory clearly stipulates that if Luke doesn't wake himself up, one of the animals will help out.
Speaking of Mocha, a month or so ago, we decided to fatten her up. She was vomitting all over the house and being rather annoying in general. Plus, she's really skinny and it makes us look bad. You know, if you want to look thin, you don't hang out with a bunch of Ethiopians. You hang out with people from Sheboygan. Mocha is slowly becoming more and more of a Sheboyganite. (Sheboyganite, by the way, is a rare compound made of basalt, cheese, and beer.)
Mocha still has some, um, excitability issues. But overall, she's calming down, which is nice. Plus, she's starting to look fatter. My goal is to get her up to about 70 pounds (she was about 60). If she's still annoying, I'll try to get her up to 80. And if she's still annoying, I'm just giving her a gravy IV until her heart explodes.
This is quite an odd experience for me though. I had 2 dogs growing up. They both had weight issues. We had to limit how much they ate and put them on low-calorie dog food. I remember hearing vets say that dogs shouldn't be overweight. It's not good for their health and blah blah blah. Meanwhile, I'm thinking that if I fatten up Mocha enough, the next time she wants to bite someone, she'll just have a heart attack.
Oh! I think I just heard Luke stirring. I'm actually surprised I got to write this much. Perhaps my Jinx Theory is all a bunch of rubbish. Or perhaps I just have a bad habit of waiting until he's about to wake up to do anything. Nah, I think my Jinx Theory makes much more sense.
To my surprise, I got through a whole paragraph without him waking up. But I know it can't last. He's bound to hear my fingers banging away on the keyboard. Oh, wait. Mocha just started growling at the garbage trucks going down the street. But she didn't bark? Something must be wrong with her. My Jinx Theory clearly stipulates that if Luke doesn't wake himself up, one of the animals will help out.
Speaking of Mocha, a month or so ago, we decided to fatten her up. She was vomitting all over the house and being rather annoying in general. Plus, she's really skinny and it makes us look bad. You know, if you want to look thin, you don't hang out with a bunch of Ethiopians. You hang out with people from Sheboygan. Mocha is slowly becoming more and more of a Sheboyganite. (Sheboyganite, by the way, is a rare compound made of basalt, cheese, and beer.)
Mocha still has some, um, excitability issues. But overall, she's calming down, which is nice. Plus, she's starting to look fatter. My goal is to get her up to about 70 pounds (she was about 60). If she's still annoying, I'll try to get her up to 80. And if she's still annoying, I'm just giving her a gravy IV until her heart explodes.
This is quite an odd experience for me though. I had 2 dogs growing up. They both had weight issues. We had to limit how much they ate and put them on low-calorie dog food. I remember hearing vets say that dogs shouldn't be overweight. It's not good for their health and blah blah blah. Meanwhile, I'm thinking that if I fatten up Mocha enough, the next time she wants to bite someone, she'll just have a heart attack.
Oh! I think I just heard Luke stirring. I'm actually surprised I got to write this much. Perhaps my Jinx Theory is all a bunch of rubbish. Or perhaps I just have a bad habit of waiting until he's about to wake up to do anything. Nah, I think my Jinx Theory makes much more sense.
