Tuesday, November 15, 2005
The Dow Is Up (and Running)
Well, I finally did it. I created my very own blog. People often tell me that I'm not vocal enough and I needed a way to express myself more. I tried standing on sidewalks, shouting at people. The problem with that method is that it's hard to build an audience for more than 2 seconds.
I tried to lure people in by talking about God and how he's going to save your soul (but only if you repent NOW!!!). That just made people point and stare at me. Well, more so than usual, anyway.
Later, I was arrested for offering people candy. Okay, so it was mostly kids I offered the candy to. And the candy just happened to be in the back of my windowless van. But with my communication skills, I have to aim at the young, simple minds of children.
When I got out of jail, someone told me about this newfangled form of communication on the "internet." It's called a "weblog" or "blog" for short. The best part about a "blog?" I can use use "quotes" as often as I "want" without having to make the dorky "air quote" hand gesture.
The point of my blog is to not have a point. My wife disagrees with this philosophy completely. But then again, if she agreed with me about anything, she wouldn't be my wife. She believes that if people are going to take time to read what you have to say, you should really have SOMETHING to say. Meanwhile, I know that people are just wasting time at work or school. They don't want to learn anything. They want to be entertained. Since I probably won't write anything entertaining, I'll try to post some links to some wonderfully entertaining websites you can check out after you read my blog.
Thanks for sticking with me through this first blog. I hope you enjoy my postings and that you come back frequently. Or at the very least, that you lie to me and tell me that you do.
I tried to lure people in by talking about God and how he's going to save your soul (but only if you repent NOW!!!). That just made people point and stare at me. Well, more so than usual, anyway.
Later, I was arrested for offering people candy. Okay, so it was mostly kids I offered the candy to. And the candy just happened to be in the back of my windowless van. But with my communication skills, I have to aim at the young, simple minds of children.
When I got out of jail, someone told me about this newfangled form of communication on the "internet." It's called a "weblog" or "blog" for short. The best part about a "blog?" I can use use "quotes" as often as I "want" without having to make the dorky "air quote" hand gesture.
The point of my blog is to not have a point. My wife disagrees with this philosophy completely. But then again, if she agreed with me about anything, she wouldn't be my wife. She believes that if people are going to take time to read what you have to say, you should really have SOMETHING to say. Meanwhile, I know that people are just wasting time at work or school. They don't want to learn anything. They want to be entertained. Since I probably won't write anything entertaining, I'll try to post some links to some wonderfully entertaining websites you can check out after you read my blog.
Thanks for sticking with me through this first blog. I hope you enjoy my postings and that you come back frequently. Or at the very least, that you lie to me and tell me that you do.
