Monday, December 05, 2005
Westworld, HO!!!
This morning, as I watching my son crawl all over the house, I watched the classic sci-fi movie Westworld. In my opinion, there's no better way to study for a final than to watch a cheesy movie from the 70s. I'm sure my wife would agree....
I love watching movies. Absolutely love it. I signed up for Netflix a few years ago when I was unemployed. Watching movies was the best way to spend a day. Even better than looking for a job! Netflix has actually caused some tension in my marriage because I tend to watch movies without telling The Wife. Then I return them and she complains because she didn't get a chance to watch a blockbuster like Logan's Run. (Of course, after watching a movie for 10 minutes, she gets bored and starts baking cookies or something, so I don't feel too bad about it.)
Tivo has actually helped my Netflix problem, believe it or not. The Wife's viewing is now almost entirely consumed by HGTV and TLC (dutifully recorded on Tivo, of course). She now concedes that she doesn't have time to watch my bad movies. I think there's a victory for me in there somewhere.
I'd heard a lot of good things about Westworld. Okay, mainly I just heard that Yul Brenner plays a robot cowboy. What more do you need? How about James Brolin playing a human cowboy? Or Dick Van Patten playing a sheriff? Anyway, the plot of Westworld is that in the not-too-distant future, a company designs a vacation resort where you can experience life like it was in either Romeworld (ancient Rome), Medievalworld (basically, England circa 14th century), or Westworld (the wild west). These worlds are populated by robots that are very humanlike. And like all humans, they eventually turn evil and try to kill everybody.
This plot might sound familiar to you. The Simpsons parodied it in the classic episode Itchy and Scratchy Land. At the time, I thought that episode was more a spoof of Jurassic Park. But as I watched Westworld, I realized just how similar the two movies were. I mean, it's basically the exact same movie with Yul Brenner playing the Tyrannasaurus Rex. (It might seem like quite a stretch for Yul, but remember, he played the King of Siam. That's in Asia. Yul? He looks about as Asian as he does Reptilian.)
As I was watching Westworld, I started to get annoyed at Michael Crichton. I mean, I couldn't believe that he totally ripped off the poor soul who wrote Westworld, and he managed to parlay that into worldwide renown just because he used dinosaurs instead of washed up actors. So, I went to imdb.com to find out who wrote Westworld. Turns out that it was none other than Michael Crichton. Now I'm doubly pissed. Not only did Crichton rip off a crappy author, but he ripped off himself!
And as great a job as Crichton did writing Westworld, he did an even better job directing it. There are some absolutely wonderful scenes in this movie, which makes me wonder why Crichton didn't have a more distinguished directing career. My favorite was the bar fight. I'm sure you're familiar with bar fights in Westerns. Try to think of the most cliche bar fight ever. What does it need? People getting thrown onto tables, breaking them? Check. People getting slid down the top of the bar? Check. Prostitutes hitting people over the head with bottles? Check. Chair through the mirror? Check. The town drunk in the corner not fighting until someone breaks his whiskey bottle? Check. Someone breaking through the second floor banister and landing on a table? Check. And the best part of all? Every time a bottle or table broke? Slow motion! Yes! It's the perfect fight scene!
Another item I gleaned from imdb.com is that they're slated to produce a new version of Westworld in 2007. I didn't see if any actors or directors have signed on to star, but people are already suggesting people for various roles. I saw that someone actually requested that Vin Diesel play Yul Brenner. Yeah, that seems like a perfect fit. A bald guy who can't act. Sign him now! That's the best way to ensure that the new Westworld keeps the right amount of cheese.
I love watching movies. Absolutely love it. I signed up for Netflix a few years ago when I was unemployed. Watching movies was the best way to spend a day. Even better than looking for a job! Netflix has actually caused some tension in my marriage because I tend to watch movies without telling The Wife. Then I return them and she complains because she didn't get a chance to watch a blockbuster like Logan's Run. (Of course, after watching a movie for 10 minutes, she gets bored and starts baking cookies or something, so I don't feel too bad about it.)
Tivo has actually helped my Netflix problem, believe it or not. The Wife's viewing is now almost entirely consumed by HGTV and TLC (dutifully recorded on Tivo, of course). She now concedes that she doesn't have time to watch my bad movies. I think there's a victory for me in there somewhere.
I'd heard a lot of good things about Westworld. Okay, mainly I just heard that Yul Brenner plays a robot cowboy. What more do you need? How about James Brolin playing a human cowboy? Or Dick Van Patten playing a sheriff? Anyway, the plot of Westworld is that in the not-too-distant future, a company designs a vacation resort where you can experience life like it was in either Romeworld (ancient Rome), Medievalworld (basically, England circa 14th century), or Westworld (the wild west). These worlds are populated by robots that are very humanlike. And like all humans, they eventually turn evil and try to kill everybody.
This plot might sound familiar to you. The Simpsons parodied it in the classic episode Itchy and Scratchy Land. At the time, I thought that episode was more a spoof of Jurassic Park. But as I watched Westworld, I realized just how similar the two movies were. I mean, it's basically the exact same movie with Yul Brenner playing the Tyrannasaurus Rex. (It might seem like quite a stretch for Yul, but remember, he played the King of Siam. That's in Asia. Yul? He looks about as Asian as he does Reptilian.)
As I was watching Westworld, I started to get annoyed at Michael Crichton. I mean, I couldn't believe that he totally ripped off the poor soul who wrote Westworld, and he managed to parlay that into worldwide renown just because he used dinosaurs instead of washed up actors. So, I went to imdb.com to find out who wrote Westworld. Turns out that it was none other than Michael Crichton. Now I'm doubly pissed. Not only did Crichton rip off a crappy author, but he ripped off himself!
And as great a job as Crichton did writing Westworld, he did an even better job directing it. There are some absolutely wonderful scenes in this movie, which makes me wonder why Crichton didn't have a more distinguished directing career. My favorite was the bar fight. I'm sure you're familiar with bar fights in Westerns. Try to think of the most cliche bar fight ever. What does it need? People getting thrown onto tables, breaking them? Check. People getting slid down the top of the bar? Check. Prostitutes hitting people over the head with bottles? Check. Chair through the mirror? Check. The town drunk in the corner not fighting until someone breaks his whiskey bottle? Check. Someone breaking through the second floor banister and landing on a table? Check. And the best part of all? Every time a bottle or table broke? Slow motion! Yes! It's the perfect fight scene!
Another item I gleaned from imdb.com is that they're slated to produce a new version of Westworld in 2007. I didn't see if any actors or directors have signed on to star, but people are already suggesting people for various roles. I saw that someone actually requested that Vin Diesel play Yul Brenner. Yeah, that seems like a perfect fit. A bald guy who can't act. Sign him now! That's the best way to ensure that the new Westworld keeps the right amount of cheese.
