Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Sonic Youth and Soul Asylum
Today I'm listening to a couple albums that I just don't "get." For quite some time now, people have been telling me that I'd probably love Sonic Youth. They're so "alternative" and weird, how can I not like them? Cuz they suck, that's why. I mean, they're terrible. Horrible. No talent. Ass clowns. I'd rather listen to Michael Bolton and Celine Dion sing love duets. (I think "Islands in a Stream" is due for a remake....)
Today's album was Goo. Allmusic.com gives it a 4-star (out of 5) rating. I don't see how that's possible. Unless the number of stars indicates how many of their songs have more guitar feedback than a high school battle of the bands. What annoys me is critics who contend that there's some sort of art in the feedback. "It represents the angst that's prevalent in today's youth as they struggle for indepence, but are reliant upon their parents for income and sustenance. And the drums represent, um, drums." I think I should become a rock critic. I can make shit up to sell records. Which brings me to my next album.
Soul Asylum's Grave Dancers Union came out when I was in high school. I remember listening to it about a million times and thinking it was the bomb. Of course, in those days I had a mullet and thought Eddie Van Halen was Jesus Christ. What's really amazing is that I didn't do any drugs in those days. This album is just not good. It's beyond no good. It's Goo Goo Dolls meet Hanson with Satan acting as producer.
The album starts out decently enough. "Somebody to Shove" is a nice teen angst song. It got me pumped up when I was running 20 miles a day in garbage bags as a wrestler. But the song quality on the rest of the album drops off precipitously. "Black Gold" was a minor hit, but listening to it now, I don't understand why. I think it's because people were just coming off of bands like Poison, Cinderella, and Warrant. Almost anything sounds better than that. I still get shivers whenever I hear Poison's "Unskinny Bop."
Anyway, today on my blog, I'm introducing a guest writer, who I'll call Mr. Optimistic. Unlike me, Mr. Optimistic loves just about everything. Today, I'm going to ask him to write a review of Grave Dancer's Union. Just like him, I'm sure you won't be disappointed.
Today's album was Goo. Allmusic.com gives it a 4-star (out of 5) rating. I don't see how that's possible. Unless the number of stars indicates how many of their songs have more guitar feedback than a high school battle of the bands. What annoys me is critics who contend that there's some sort of art in the feedback. "It represents the angst that's prevalent in today's youth as they struggle for indepence, but are reliant upon their parents for income and sustenance. And the drums represent, um, drums." I think I should become a rock critic. I can make shit up to sell records. Which brings me to my next album.
Soul Asylum's Grave Dancers Union came out when I was in high school. I remember listening to it about a million times and thinking it was the bomb. Of course, in those days I had a mullet and thought Eddie Van Halen was Jesus Christ. What's really amazing is that I didn't do any drugs in those days. This album is just not good. It's beyond no good. It's Goo Goo Dolls meet Hanson with Satan acting as producer.
The album starts out decently enough. "Somebody to Shove" is a nice teen angst song. It got me pumped up when I was running 20 miles a day in garbage bags as a wrestler. But the song quality on the rest of the album drops off precipitously. "Black Gold" was a minor hit, but listening to it now, I don't understand why. I think it's because people were just coming off of bands like Poison, Cinderella, and Warrant. Almost anything sounds better than that. I still get shivers whenever I hear Poison's "Unskinny Bop."
Anyway, today on my blog, I'm introducing a guest writer, who I'll call Mr. Optimistic. Unlike me, Mr. Optimistic loves just about everything. Today, I'm going to ask him to write a review of Grave Dancer's Union. Just like him, I'm sure you won't be disappointed.
