Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Capital Punishment
As a new parent, I struggle with the idea of punishment. Not in the "should-I-spank/shouldn't-I-spank" way. More in the "how soon should I spank" way. I had to ground Luke this morning and it was quite difficult. Mostly because he's just 10 months old and didn't really understand me. Besides, he has nowhere to go anyway.
Here's the problem. Luke just won't listen to me. This morning, he woke up at 3:45 screaming his head off. I told him, "That's enough!" And what does he do? He just screams MORE! I won't take that kind of backtalk from my kids. I tried everything I could think of to make him stop screaming. I shook him. I pinched him. I dropped him on the ground. Nothing worked!
Finally, I had to give him to The Wife. She used her magic touch and got him to back into his crib. Screaming his head off still, but at least he was back in the crib. Finally, at 4:30, I'd had enough. I grounded him. I told him he couldn't have any more play dates this week. And he sure as shit wasn't going to the dance this weekend. That only set him off more.
Since I just watched Nanny 911 the other day, I thought there might be an approach that I was missing. Maybe I should try picking him up. Huh. That seemed to have calmed him a little bit. Maybe I should try stuffing something in his mouth. After several failed attempts with clothes, fingers, and pets, I decided to try a bottle. That seemed to do the trick. At least until he found out it was empty. Apparently, he wanted to actually EAT something. Some people!
Anyway, Luke finally fell asleep around 5:00 a.m. while I watched a replay of the Bulls beating the Lakers in the 1991 NBA Championships. (Thank god for TiVo and ESPN Classic.) I shouldn't get so excited about a game that happened 14 years ago, but I couldn't help it. I was giddy from lack of sleep.
The moral of the story? Don't have kids. Oh, and make sure you write things anonymously in case the DCFS doesn't understand sarcasm.
Here's the problem. Luke just won't listen to me. This morning, he woke up at 3:45 screaming his head off. I told him, "That's enough!" And what does he do? He just screams MORE! I won't take that kind of backtalk from my kids. I tried everything I could think of to make him stop screaming. I shook him. I pinched him. I dropped him on the ground. Nothing worked!
Finally, I had to give him to The Wife. She used her magic touch and got him to back into his crib. Screaming his head off still, but at least he was back in the crib. Finally, at 4:30, I'd had enough. I grounded him. I told him he couldn't have any more play dates this week. And he sure as shit wasn't going to the dance this weekend. That only set him off more.
Since I just watched Nanny 911 the other day, I thought there might be an approach that I was missing. Maybe I should try picking him up. Huh. That seemed to have calmed him a little bit. Maybe I should try stuffing something in his mouth. After several failed attempts with clothes, fingers, and pets, I decided to try a bottle. That seemed to do the trick. At least until he found out it was empty. Apparently, he wanted to actually EAT something. Some people!
Anyway, Luke finally fell asleep around 5:00 a.m. while I watched a replay of the Bulls beating the Lakers in the 1991 NBA Championships. (Thank god for TiVo and ESPN Classic.) I shouldn't get so excited about a game that happened 14 years ago, but I couldn't help it. I was giddy from lack of sleep.
The moral of the story? Don't have kids. Oh, and make sure you write things anonymously in case the DCFS doesn't understand sarcasm.
