The Dow Is Up!

After a remarkably warm summer and fall, winter hit Chicago today with all the subtlety of a kick in the ass. I grew up in the Chicagoland area. (More on that tomorrow.) I'm used to the weather. I understand that it's hot and humid in the summer. I understand that it's wicked cold and windy in the winter.

There are only a few things you can do about the weather. You accept it (and enjoy Chicago), you can reject it (and move elsewhere), or you can do what I do: complain. After all, if there's one thing that people love to hear (after someone discussing their fantasy football team ad nauseum), it's someone complain about the weather.

I tried to enjoy Chicago. I'd say things like, "if it weren't for winter, you wouldn't enjoy the other seasons as much." Yeah, because there are millions of people complaining about the non-stop gorgeous weather in Hawaii.

I tried moving, but I didn't think the plan out. I went from Chicago to Boston. People often (okay, once or twice) ask me about the difference in weather between the two cities. My answer? In Chicago, people say "FUCK, it's cold!." People in Boston say "Fuck, it's COLD!"

So, now I'm just going to complain. My favorite complaint is that it's "not fair," as in "It was 80 degrees just a couple months ago. It's not fair that it's in the 20's today!" I like to stamp my foot for dramatic effect whenever necessary.